The end of another weekend. Damn, they always pass too quickly! I'm not feeling so hot tonight, I made the mistake of eating some popcorn while watching Paranormal Activity 1 & 2 with Michael and Steven. I dearly love popcorn, but sometimes it doesn't love me. But the movies were good. I've seen both of them before, but Michael hasn't, so we watched them together.
We had a good day today - took Dominion and Bailey to the dog park, and I cooked a scrumptious dinner tonight - fried chicken, broccoli with cheese sauce, and homemade mashed potatoes. I just wish I had baked those brownies this afternoon. I'd probably be really sick right now, but my craving would be satisfied.
Well, damn....the longer I sit here and surf and write, the worse I feel and the hotter I'm getting. I suppose I should head to the showers then hit the rack for the night. Have a great start to your week....just hoping I feel a LOT better in the morning......
Monday, February 28, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
I Wish You happiness
I knew some day you would leave again
To try and find your special place.
When you told me, it took me by surprise.
I am lonely and miss your smiling face.
You left me once before many years ago.
It was hard enough then to say goodbye.
This time seems even harder somehow
Though I have tried so hard not to cry.
During the years since you came back
We have become closer than ever before.
I miss the little things you did to spoil me.
I listen for your key turning in the front door.
I want nothing more than for you to be happy
To fall in love with that special someone
To hold and to cherish throughout life
Until your earthly days are done.
Nothing matters more in this life
Than the love you feel in your heart.
You will always be in mine
No matter how long we may be apart.
I pray for the Lord to watch over you
In every thing that you may do.
I wish you most a life of happiness
With memories to cherish as I have of you.
by Carol Barton
I didn't write the poem above. I wish I had found it a few years ago. It fit my situation so well at the time. I just couldn't acknowledge it for a while, because I was still somewhat immature when it came to the particular situation and person, and was still hurting.
I had a failed relationship, which failed for many reasons. It was one that had resurfaced from my past, from long, long ago, and no, the third time wasn't the charm. At the time it failed, I didn't want him to be happy. I didn't really want him to be miserable, either, but I didn't want him to be happy unless it was with me. I was convinced that I was the only person that could make him happy, but I now know that I was so wrong about that.
I do still keep in touch with him, and his wife, and I know that they are both very happy together. He wouldn't have been happy with me, I know that now. It took a while for me to realize it, even after I stopped wanting to be with him. I still wasn't convinced that she would make him happy. But I see how well they fit together, how well she understands his needs, and I know without a doubt that he is with the right person.
I know it's hard sometimes to wish happiness to someone, and to be happy for them when you know they've found someone they are happy with, when they were the one you wanted to be with. It hurts sometimes to do it, but if you really loved that person, then you put your feelings aside and are happy for them.
To try and find your special place.
When you told me, it took me by surprise.
I am lonely and miss your smiling face.
You left me once before many years ago.
It was hard enough then to say goodbye.
This time seems even harder somehow
Though I have tried so hard not to cry.
During the years since you came back
We have become closer than ever before.
I miss the little things you did to spoil me.
I listen for your key turning in the front door.
I want nothing more than for you to be happy
To fall in love with that special someone
To hold and to cherish throughout life
Until your earthly days are done.
Nothing matters more in this life
Than the love you feel in your heart.
You will always be in mine
No matter how long we may be apart.
I pray for the Lord to watch over you
In every thing that you may do.
I wish you most a life of happiness
With memories to cherish as I have of you.
by Carol Barton
I didn't write the poem above. I wish I had found it a few years ago. It fit my situation so well at the time. I just couldn't acknowledge it for a while, because I was still somewhat immature when it came to the particular situation and person, and was still hurting.
I had a failed relationship, which failed for many reasons. It was one that had resurfaced from my past, from long, long ago, and no, the third time wasn't the charm. At the time it failed, I didn't want him to be happy. I didn't really want him to be miserable, either, but I didn't want him to be happy unless it was with me. I was convinced that I was the only person that could make him happy, but I now know that I was so wrong about that.
I do still keep in touch with him, and his wife, and I know that they are both very happy together. He wouldn't have been happy with me, I know that now. It took a while for me to realize it, even after I stopped wanting to be with him. I still wasn't convinced that she would make him happy. But I see how well they fit together, how well she understands his needs, and I know without a doubt that he is with the right person.
I know it's hard sometimes to wish happiness to someone, and to be happy for them when you know they've found someone they are happy with, when they were the one you wanted to be with. It hurts sometimes to do it, but if you really loved that person, then you put your feelings aside and are happy for them.
Saturday mornings.....
Oh how I love Saturday mornings. I am usually the first one up, so I get some alone time. I didn't feel like making myself coffee yet, not sure that I will, and we are out of sweet tea. Coffee would be faster, so I may go do that in a minute.
Got a phone call last night that I haven't had in a while - a "drunk dial" from a friend of mine. I heard the phone ring and thought it was the alarm, so I hit it and it answered the phone. I hung up because I was kinda out of it, then she called back. I hit "reject" on the call and she left her usual drunk dial voice message. I suppose it makes me a bad friend for not answering the phone, or hanging up on her when I accidentally answered, but I was very tired and let's just face it - it was 3:30am. I worried for a brief moment that something seriously tragic had happened, as her drunk dials are usually much earlier in the night, AND she hasn't made a drunk dial to me in well over 6 months, but I figured if it was an emergency she would have kept calling or would have followed up with a text message, which she didn't.
We are going to Mom's today to work around the house and yard. I've got to help Michael finish up with his boxes, and to put leather conditioner on his couch, and Brian and Steven are going to work in the yard. I will probably end up helping in the yard, at least for a little while, but I'm not looking forward to it. I feel like there are things that need to be done around my house that I should be doing, but I do want to help get Mom's house in order before their move.
Michael will be coming to stay with us now that Marion will be back from England this afternoon. He's gonna hang out over here, and go visit his family in SC some as well, until Mom and Marion leave for England in April. I imagine there will be no dull moments around here while Michael is here - there are very few dull moments without him - Brian and Steven make sure to keep things lively most of the time.
Speaking of no dull moments - I have blushed more in the past week than I have in the past 2-3 years. I am not a person that blushes easily, or that is at a loss for words, but damn, Mom and Brian and even Michael have caused some serious blushing on my part. Mom made a comment the other night that was crude even by her standards, and I was speechless! I blushed and laughed so hard I almost cried and peed my pants! Brian succeeded in making me blush yesterday while we were out, and last night, Mom got me again at dinner. This one I will share - I had on a top that was kinda low cut, and if I leaned over, of course it dropped even further. Apparently I was leaned over a bit too far and Mom said "fix your shirt, I don't want one of those things to pop out". The waitress heard her say that and was trying not to laugh in front of us, and either Mom or Michael said something to her that it was okay to laugh. So she says she tries "not to listen to customers' conversations, but that just kinda popped out", and I commented "well I can't help it they just do that sometimes". The waitress had to leave the table she was laughing so hard!
Then Mom and Michael started ragging on Brian and Mom got herself so tickled she was crying. Brian tried to get her attention but she just said "I'm not looking at you!" because she was trying to regain her composure. I am so glad everyone gets along so well!
Well, quiet time is almost over, time to go wake Brian and Steven up. I hope everyone has a wonderful Saturday!
Got a phone call last night that I haven't had in a while - a "drunk dial" from a friend of mine. I heard the phone ring and thought it was the alarm, so I hit it and it answered the phone. I hung up because I was kinda out of it, then she called back. I hit "reject" on the call and she left her usual drunk dial voice message. I suppose it makes me a bad friend for not answering the phone, or hanging up on her when I accidentally answered, but I was very tired and let's just face it - it was 3:30am. I worried for a brief moment that something seriously tragic had happened, as her drunk dials are usually much earlier in the night, AND she hasn't made a drunk dial to me in well over 6 months, but I figured if it was an emergency she would have kept calling or would have followed up with a text message, which she didn't.
We are going to Mom's today to work around the house and yard. I've got to help Michael finish up with his boxes, and to put leather conditioner on his couch, and Brian and Steven are going to work in the yard. I will probably end up helping in the yard, at least for a little while, but I'm not looking forward to it. I feel like there are things that need to be done around my house that I should be doing, but I do want to help get Mom's house in order before their move.
Michael will be coming to stay with us now that Marion will be back from England this afternoon. He's gonna hang out over here, and go visit his family in SC some as well, until Mom and Marion leave for England in April. I imagine there will be no dull moments around here while Michael is here - there are very few dull moments without him - Brian and Steven make sure to keep things lively most of the time.
Speaking of no dull moments - I have blushed more in the past week than I have in the past 2-3 years. I am not a person that blushes easily, or that is at a loss for words, but damn, Mom and Brian and even Michael have caused some serious blushing on my part. Mom made a comment the other night that was crude even by her standards, and I was speechless! I blushed and laughed so hard I almost cried and peed my pants! Brian succeeded in making me blush yesterday while we were out, and last night, Mom got me again at dinner. This one I will share - I had on a top that was kinda low cut, and if I leaned over, of course it dropped even further. Apparently I was leaned over a bit too far and Mom said "fix your shirt, I don't want one of those things to pop out". The waitress heard her say that and was trying not to laugh in front of us, and either Mom or Michael said something to her that it was okay to laugh. So she says she tries "not to listen to customers' conversations, but that just kinda popped out", and I commented "well I can't help it they just do that sometimes". The waitress had to leave the table she was laughing so hard!
Then Mom and Michael started ragging on Brian and Mom got herself so tickled she was crying. Brian tried to get her attention but she just said "I'm not looking at you!" because she was trying to regain her composure. I am so glad everyone gets along so well!
Well, quiet time is almost over, time to go wake Brian and Steven up. I hope everyone has a wonderful Saturday!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Late Thursday night.....
Dammit my foot is swollen and tight feeling. I know the doctor and physical therapist said the swelling could last for at least a year, but damn, I am so over this crap. I'm tired of not being able to wear the shoes that I want to, and do what I want to, just to take care of that foot. The funny thing is, and I may have already mentioned this in the blog before, is that generally speaking my foot feels much more comfortable in really high heeled shoes. It's pretty comfortable in flats, but tends to swell a lot more in them. Shoes in between an inch and 3 inches in height just don't work well for me, they make my ankle hurt where the cartilege was removed and the bone drilled. But, put me in a pair of 7 inch stilettos and watch out! It feels great!
Today seemed to just drag on by. It was my Friday, as I'm taking tomorrow off, but my God I thought it would never end! And I had to stay a few minutes late to finish some stuff up (of which I forgot to run reports so I'll have to call Shirley in the morning and tell her which reports to run), and everything got on my nerves, and isn't PMS just grand when you're frustrated already with things at work.
I realized this week, or rather it was brought to my attention, that I've let my nails go, somewhat. I haven't been as meticulous in keeping them polished as I used to be. I think part of it is that I'm just so tired that when I come home, I do just what is necessary around the house (cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc), and that's it. My nails have also been harder to maintain, as far as keeping them longer. I don't ever have crazy long nails - I like some length to them, but apparently I've got something missing in my diet or have something going on that I haven't pinpointed yet that is causing them to break extremely easily.
Maybe it's the fact that I haven't consistently been taking my vitamin supplements. I've been trying to cut out all the unnecessary things to see if one of them is causing my almost daily nausea, but nothing seems to be working. I'm pretty much convinced it's the post-nasal drip that I've had to endure the last 4 years, that almost always turns into bronchitis. I guess it's time to go back on the supplements, though, and see if that helps the nails.
Mom is leaving for England in about 5 weeks. I dread it. I really do. Hurts me to think about it, but it's gonna happen regardless. Such a fantastic opportunity for her and Marion, but I just hate to see them leave.
The crippling fatigue is back. I'm sure a lot of it has to do with my lack of a consistent, and much earlier, bedtime than I currently have. Not sure why I insist on staying up so late - maybe it's the little kid that still lives inside me, afraid of missing something if I go to sleep. LOL Plus PMS takes a lot out of me. I came home today and after greeting everyone, went and laid across the bed and napped for almost 2 hours. I felt so drugged when Brian woke me up, but I made myself get up and hang out with everyone in the computer room, then cooked dinner.
Well, folks, it's about that time - to shower and hit the rack. I hope everyone has a great Friday!
Today seemed to just drag on by. It was my Friday, as I'm taking tomorrow off, but my God I thought it would never end! And I had to stay a few minutes late to finish some stuff up (of which I forgot to run reports so I'll have to call Shirley in the morning and tell her which reports to run), and everything got on my nerves, and isn't PMS just grand when you're frustrated already with things at work.
I realized this week, or rather it was brought to my attention, that I've let my nails go, somewhat. I haven't been as meticulous in keeping them polished as I used to be. I think part of it is that I'm just so tired that when I come home, I do just what is necessary around the house (cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc), and that's it. My nails have also been harder to maintain, as far as keeping them longer. I don't ever have crazy long nails - I like some length to them, but apparently I've got something missing in my diet or have something going on that I haven't pinpointed yet that is causing them to break extremely easily.
Maybe it's the fact that I haven't consistently been taking my vitamin supplements. I've been trying to cut out all the unnecessary things to see if one of them is causing my almost daily nausea, but nothing seems to be working. I'm pretty much convinced it's the post-nasal drip that I've had to endure the last 4 years, that almost always turns into bronchitis. I guess it's time to go back on the supplements, though, and see if that helps the nails.
Mom is leaving for England in about 5 weeks. I dread it. I really do. Hurts me to think about it, but it's gonna happen regardless. Such a fantastic opportunity for her and Marion, but I just hate to see them leave.
The crippling fatigue is back. I'm sure a lot of it has to do with my lack of a consistent, and much earlier, bedtime than I currently have. Not sure why I insist on staying up so late - maybe it's the little kid that still lives inside me, afraid of missing something if I go to sleep. LOL Plus PMS takes a lot out of me. I came home today and after greeting everyone, went and laid across the bed and napped for almost 2 hours. I felt so drugged when Brian woke me up, but I made myself get up and hang out with everyone in the computer room, then cooked dinner.
Well, folks, it's about that time - to shower and hit the rack. I hope everyone has a great Friday!
The latest and greatest.......
Wow, I've been working out at Gold's Gym for almost 5 full weeks now, going at least 3 times a week, and Mom and Brian both can tell a difference in my physique. Mom said something about my butt changing shape - I've noticed it seems to be much firmer and somewhat lifted (thanks to those damn lunges and squats that I hate so much!), and Brian has also noticed my face slimming back down. I seem to gain and lose weight there first, for some reason. I've been able to tighten up my bra band another notch, but it still fits so I haven't lost anything except a little girth around the back and ribcage.
We moved Michael into Mom's place on Sunday - my biceps quit hurting just in time to take the Power class today. Surprisingly, they aren't hurting so far tonight. I may get brave tomorrow and try a spin class, if one is offered at 5:30. I'll have to check the schedule. Otherwise, I'll be on the weight machines, as I refuse to do the Centergy class for now (makes my feet cramp pretty bad). I need to arrange to go later once in a while so I can try the Zumba class. I remember seeing commercials for Zumba on TV, so I'm kind of curious about taking it at Gold's.
I had a great time at my future mother-in-law's birthday party Saturday night. Mom went with us so she could meet Brian's family, and we all had a great time. Lil Christopher sat in my lap most of the night - he is soooo cute! Steven also asked Brian and me to give him a baby brother or sister. We both vetoed that idea! I know I'm not "old", and that a lot of people have babies after 40, but I honestly don't want to take that risk, for me or a baby. I had high blood pressure issues with Steven, and he was born 3 weeks early because of it, and I just don't want to possibly have a high risk pregnancy.
And although I feel that way about having another child, I still can't bring myself to go through with the ablation to deal with the heavy periods. It is so very tempting, but at what cost? And for what result? The doctor can't guarantee that the procedure will work, or provide me with more than a 25% reduction, 50% at best. Well, honestly, a 50% reduction would be great, all things considered. And he couldn't answer whether or not the ablation would reduce the other symptoms I have, including the waves of nausea my monthly curse brings me. The periods seem to be getting worse, and I'm at the point sometimes where I will end up missing work because of them. I can barely function at times, and I can't take anything stronger than ibuprofen and still be able to function at work.
Speaking of nausea - I'm plagued with nausea on an almost daily basis. No, I'm NOT pregnant. I seriously think it's this nasty congestion that I can't seem to rid myself of. Dog allergies, I'm sure, but Dominion isn't going anywhere! I love that doggy too much! He was so cute last night and tonight - he's insanely jealous when I visit Mom's and have the scent of Bailey and Mousse on me. He sniffs me all over, over and over and over again, nudging me with his snout, and even nibbling at my shirt at times. He will do this for as long as I allow him to!
I'm absolutely amazed sometimes at how nosy some people are, and how they manage to get in your business when you've done everything you can in order to prevent news from leaking out before you're ready to tell the nosy individual. Well, the cat is out of the bag now and yes, I'm engaged!
I would still love to know how the news got out - my Facebook page has been on "lockdown" since any reference to the engagement was put on there, anyone else who may have referred to the engagement has the privacy settings pretty tight, and nothing has been posted on any other profile of mine that gets snooped around on. I'll never find out how, though, since Nosey Nancy will never tell or admit anything. Oh well, it doesn't matter, the news needed to be shared, one way or another.
Tomorrow (well today now) is my Friday. I'm taking Friday off to take care of some personal business. Gonna have a great weekend!!!
We moved Michael into Mom's place on Sunday - my biceps quit hurting just in time to take the Power class today. Surprisingly, they aren't hurting so far tonight. I may get brave tomorrow and try a spin class, if one is offered at 5:30. I'll have to check the schedule. Otherwise, I'll be on the weight machines, as I refuse to do the Centergy class for now (makes my feet cramp pretty bad). I need to arrange to go later once in a while so I can try the Zumba class. I remember seeing commercials for Zumba on TV, so I'm kind of curious about taking it at Gold's.
I had a great time at my future mother-in-law's birthday party Saturday night. Mom went with us so she could meet Brian's family, and we all had a great time. Lil Christopher sat in my lap most of the night - he is soooo cute! Steven also asked Brian and me to give him a baby brother or sister. We both vetoed that idea! I know I'm not "old", and that a lot of people have babies after 40, but I honestly don't want to take that risk, for me or a baby. I had high blood pressure issues with Steven, and he was born 3 weeks early because of it, and I just don't want to possibly have a high risk pregnancy.
And although I feel that way about having another child, I still can't bring myself to go through with the ablation to deal with the heavy periods. It is so very tempting, but at what cost? And for what result? The doctor can't guarantee that the procedure will work, or provide me with more than a 25% reduction, 50% at best. Well, honestly, a 50% reduction would be great, all things considered. And he couldn't answer whether or not the ablation would reduce the other symptoms I have, including the waves of nausea my monthly curse brings me. The periods seem to be getting worse, and I'm at the point sometimes where I will end up missing work because of them. I can barely function at times, and I can't take anything stronger than ibuprofen and still be able to function at work.
Speaking of nausea - I'm plagued with nausea on an almost daily basis. No, I'm NOT pregnant. I seriously think it's this nasty congestion that I can't seem to rid myself of. Dog allergies, I'm sure, but Dominion isn't going anywhere! I love that doggy too much! He was so cute last night and tonight - he's insanely jealous when I visit Mom's and have the scent of Bailey and Mousse on me. He sniffs me all over, over and over and over again, nudging me with his snout, and even nibbling at my shirt at times. He will do this for as long as I allow him to!
I'm absolutely amazed sometimes at how nosy some people are, and how they manage to get in your business when you've done everything you can in order to prevent news from leaking out before you're ready to tell the nosy individual. Well, the cat is out of the bag now and yes, I'm engaged!
I would still love to know how the news got out - my Facebook page has been on "lockdown" since any reference to the engagement was put on there, anyone else who may have referred to the engagement has the privacy settings pretty tight, and nothing has been posted on any other profile of mine that gets snooped around on. I'll never find out how, though, since Nosey Nancy will never tell or admit anything. Oh well, it doesn't matter, the news needed to be shared, one way or another.
Tomorrow (well today now) is my Friday. I'm taking Friday off to take care of some personal business. Gonna have a great weekend!!!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Wow!
I've picked up a new stalker from Tallapoosa, GA. Not sure who it could be, although I have my ideas. Hey, Tallapoosa person - why don't you leave me a comment on here??? I'm just curious, and of course everyone is welcome to read, I'm pretty much an open book. (although sometimes news has to wait until the right moment to share, then I just don't say anything about it until it's time)
Mom and I have some places to visit today, and some shopping to do, then we've got something special planned for dinner tonight, and after that, I think I may have time to drop in on Mustang Mayhem VII. Those parties are ALWAYS a blast!
I've been really, really frustrated the past week about several different things. One is work, which I won't talk about in a public forum such as my blog - never know who might read this and I don't want to get my ass in a sling like that teacher did over her blog which criticized her lazy, whiny students. I totally see her point - a friend on Facebook criticized the teacher and made a comment that maybe it was the teacher's fault her students were like that. Sorry, friend, but I just don't agree. I can see where *maybe* it could be her fault, but I'm finding students today do seem to be lazy, whiny, and expect everything to be done for them and they also expect to be able to do what they want. Don't get me on my soap box!
Another frustrating thing is worrying about my grandmother. But I blogged about that the other day and there's just not that much more to say on that topic.
And, I've gotten a tad frustrated with Mom over some planning issues, but I've kept my cool and made some decisions and everything has worked out exactly how I wanted it to, with no hurt feelings or even ruffled feathers (well, my feathers got ruffled briefly, but are nice and smooth now LOL).
Tomorrow we are moving Michael's things into Mom's house. For those that don't know, Michael is going to live there while Mom and Marion are in England, to house- and dog-sit. He will stay with Brian and me until they actually leave, and OMG I'm gonna need some Depends because it's bad enough with just Brian and Steven making me laugh, but add Michael to the mix and DAMN!!! It's almost nonstop laughs around here!
Well, time for me to go shower and head to Mom's for a few hours today. I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend! I know I will!
Mom and I have some places to visit today, and some shopping to do, then we've got something special planned for dinner tonight, and after that, I think I may have time to drop in on Mustang Mayhem VII. Those parties are ALWAYS a blast!
I've been really, really frustrated the past week about several different things. One is work, which I won't talk about in a public forum such as my blog - never know who might read this and I don't want to get my ass in a sling like that teacher did over her blog which criticized her lazy, whiny students. I totally see her point - a friend on Facebook criticized the teacher and made a comment that maybe it was the teacher's fault her students were like that. Sorry, friend, but I just don't agree. I can see where *maybe* it could be her fault, but I'm finding students today do seem to be lazy, whiny, and expect everything to be done for them and they also expect to be able to do what they want. Don't get me on my soap box!
Another frustrating thing is worrying about my grandmother. But I blogged about that the other day and there's just not that much more to say on that topic.
And, I've gotten a tad frustrated with Mom over some planning issues, but I've kept my cool and made some decisions and everything has worked out exactly how I wanted it to, with no hurt feelings or even ruffled feathers (well, my feathers got ruffled briefly, but are nice and smooth now LOL).
Tomorrow we are moving Michael's things into Mom's house. For those that don't know, Michael is going to live there while Mom and Marion are in England, to house- and dog-sit. He will stay with Brian and me until they actually leave, and OMG I'm gonna need some Depends because it's bad enough with just Brian and Steven making me laugh, but add Michael to the mix and DAMN!!! It's almost nonstop laughs around here!
Well, time for me to go shower and head to Mom's for a few hours today. I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend! I know I will!
Monday, February 14, 2011
Weighing heavy on my mind and heart.....
I know I've talked about her many times before, and bitched about her and how she gets on my nerves, but honestly I love my grandmother, Meme, very much. Mom and I lived with her and my grandfather as far back as I remember (starting when my parents divorced when I was about 1 year old), and after my grandfather died, the 3 of us lived together until she found Bob and moved to Warner Robbins.
Meme has always been there for me, done things for me and with me, and helped me out whenever she can. Going hand in hand with helping me out, comes the great aggravation as a cost of letting her help me out. For example - we are living in her double-wide mobile home. She decided she wanted to move into the basement apartment of her son's home, so that she would be closer to one of her children and he could help her if needed. Let's face it - she'll be 87 this year and it's not a bad idea for someone of that age to live with younger people so that there's someone around to watch out for them, especially with the health conditions that Meme has.
But living here has its costs - she expects "her" home to be kept spotless, which is darn near impossible with a teenager in the home. Not to mention that I'm not the neatest person around, either. She also wants to continue to store a bunch of crap over here that she just doesn't need. I have boxes stacked up in the corner in my laundry room, boxes filling up about a third of the shed, and clothes hanging up and in big plastic tubs in the spare bedroom closet.
Now, to what's weighing on me. Mom and I frequently discuss Meme and her state of mind, or lack thereof. Meme is the youngest child, and the last of the siblings. All the rest lived to be at least 90 (I think), and all had some form/state of Alzheimer's or dementia during the last few years of their lives. We've been watching Meme, and noting different behaviors and things, and it's really becoming apparent that it is starting to affect her, too. She spent a good bit of time talking to her daughter-in-law today, freaking out about her family pictures being "stolen", and worrying that her children think she's "losing it". Turns out those pictures - she GAVE them to her children around Christmas time.
I was told around the time that I moved into the house here that she would frequently "give" or "lend" things to people, then forget she gave them away or lent them out, and accuse the person of stealing the item(s). Meme gave me some jewelry around Christmas time that she wanted me to have, and she showed me some other jewelry she wants to give me as well, but just not yet. I'm almost afraid to accept it, that she will accuse me of stealing it from her. Yes, I would love to have it, some of it I would be proud to wear, but not at the risk of being accused of stealing it from her.
Any of you that pray, please pray for my grandmother, and for all of us that interact with her. We need patience and understanding, as she does. This is not going to be easy.
Meme has always been there for me, done things for me and with me, and helped me out whenever she can. Going hand in hand with helping me out, comes the great aggravation as a cost of letting her help me out. For example - we are living in her double-wide mobile home. She decided she wanted to move into the basement apartment of her son's home, so that she would be closer to one of her children and he could help her if needed. Let's face it - she'll be 87 this year and it's not a bad idea for someone of that age to live with younger people so that there's someone around to watch out for them, especially with the health conditions that Meme has.
But living here has its costs - she expects "her" home to be kept spotless, which is darn near impossible with a teenager in the home. Not to mention that I'm not the neatest person around, either. She also wants to continue to store a bunch of crap over here that she just doesn't need. I have boxes stacked up in the corner in my laundry room, boxes filling up about a third of the shed, and clothes hanging up and in big plastic tubs in the spare bedroom closet.
Now, to what's weighing on me. Mom and I frequently discuss Meme and her state of mind, or lack thereof. Meme is the youngest child, and the last of the siblings. All the rest lived to be at least 90 (I think), and all had some form/state of Alzheimer's or dementia during the last few years of their lives. We've been watching Meme, and noting different behaviors and things, and it's really becoming apparent that it is starting to affect her, too. She spent a good bit of time talking to her daughter-in-law today, freaking out about her family pictures being "stolen", and worrying that her children think she's "losing it". Turns out those pictures - she GAVE them to her children around Christmas time.
I was told around the time that I moved into the house here that she would frequently "give" or "lend" things to people, then forget she gave them away or lent them out, and accuse the person of stealing the item(s). Meme gave me some jewelry around Christmas time that she wanted me to have, and she showed me some other jewelry she wants to give me as well, but just not yet. I'm almost afraid to accept it, that she will accuse me of stealing it from her. Yes, I would love to have it, some of it I would be proud to wear, but not at the risk of being accused of stealing it from her.
Any of you that pray, please pray for my grandmother, and for all of us that interact with her. We need patience and understanding, as she does. This is not going to be easy.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Renewals......
That was borrowed from a friend and their Facebook status. It is so true. I think most adults know what it's like to have their hearts broken, at least once. Some of us are unfortunate enough to experience heart break more than once. Having your heart broken, regardless of what caused the heart break, hurts. But it's not something that one should dwell on, or let consume them. Given time, you heal. You move on. You experience love again one day. You even figure out how to not be bitter or angry about a bad break up.
I was talking to one of my friends today, and she mentioned that her ex-husband is getting married soon. She said she was happy for him, that it seems like the woman will be good for him, and that regardless of what has transpired since her divorce from him, she feels like it was definitely the right thing for the 2 of them to have gotten divorced.
I don't keep up with most of my ex-boyfriends, and I certainly don't keep up with my ex-husband, but I can truthfully say that I only wish each of them much happiness in their lives. Even my ex-husband. Not much would make me happier regarding my ex-husband than to know that he has straightened his life out, gotten over his prescription drug and cigarette addiction, and that he has learned to be a compassionate, caring, NON-abusive person. I suppose I am one of little faith when it comes to him, because I don't see him changing after all these years. I know it is possible, IF he wants it, but that's the problem - apparently losing all the things in life that he claimed were important to him, just weren't enough to make him want to change.
But I digress....just looking at the coming "holiday" of Valentine's Day, I just wanted to spew a little about moving on when you've experienced heart break, and to wish the best to those that have experienced heart break, past, present, and future. Life will go on, and one day you will find happiness. Trust me.....I did!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
God gives you situations, you choose whether they make you "bitter" or "better"
God gives you situations, you choose whether they make you "bitter" or "better".
Ain't that the truth! The way you look at situations, how you interpret them, determines whether they make you a bitter person or a better person. There's been so many bad things in my life that had I chosen to be a negative person, I would be an extremely bitter, angry person right now. Fortunately, I am NOT normally a negative, mean person, so I tend to try to find the positive in all situations and learn from them.
My first marriage, for example, was a disaster. I'm not going to rehash all the drama and negativity from that relationship, but suffice it to say that had I chosen to allow that to make me a bitter person, I wouldn't have been able to open my heart to love again. I chose to learn from the mistakes I made with that relationship and person, and have certainly grown to be a better person for it.
As bad as things may get at times, I do try to find the positives in everything, or to at the very least learn something from the situation. One thing I've learned recently is that no matter how nice you are to some people, it's just never enough. Some people will just never be happy with anything, or accept the facts, and it's really a shame.
If I was childish and immature, I would engage in reciprocal name-calling and put downs. But I'm not going to stoop to that level, I've learned from previous lapses in judgement that it just doesn't do any good. Maybe one day this person will realize that I am not someone to piss off or have you on their shit list, that I can be quite the advocate and supporter when I know it's needed and appreciated. But that goes hand in hand with the title of this blog - choosing to let a situation make you bitter, or better.
This person has chosen to allow a certain situation to make them an extremely bitter person. The relationship they thought they had with someone failed, and it failed for many reasons, to include but not limited to the following:
*lack of trust in each other
*extreme, unreasonable jealousy
*insecurity
*extreme immaturity
*major differences of opinion regarding family values, work ethics, and financial responsibilities
*inability to effectively communicate
If this person had really, truly wanted the relationship to work, and to work well, they wouldn't have bullied their way into his home, demanding to move in together. They wouldn't have run home after shacking up for a mere 19 days because he was unhappy, they would have stayed and talked about it like a mature adult before leaving. Of course, they would have gotten divorced first, too, before they left their husband to go shack up with someone else. And they would have made sure that the person they were going to shack up with wasn't already involved with someone else that he wanted to continue seeing behind their back. They would have also known that once they left, he was done.
This person would have also known that harassing someone they claim to love is not the way to win them, or win them back. Calling them over and over and over again, never leaving a voice message or leaving nasty hateful ones, and sending dozens of text messages a day, is not the way to win someone over. It is harassment, plain and simple. (I know, I consulted my attorney when my ex-husband used to call me repeatedly and I could have had harassment charges filed against him). It's a very fast way to find yourself ignored, in my book.
Well, I could go on and on about what this person should have known, and should have done, but it's neither here nor there, and it's way beyond too late to salvage that relationship as anything more than a possible friendship. They have to learn things the hard way, and they apparently still have a lot of learning to do.
That previous section is not intended to sound like it's full of put downs, as you negative nay-sayers may think, it's full of facts. Facts that certain people don't want to face. But facts, nonetheless.
If you wish to comment, please feel free to do so. You do have the ability to leave anonymous comments, but be forewarned - if you, Nosey Nancy, whomever you are, leave a nasty comment on this or any other blog or place, I will call you out on it. ALL OF YOU. By names. First and last. I know you are one of a small number of people, and I will just name you all.
Ain't that the truth! The way you look at situations, how you interpret them, determines whether they make you a bitter person or a better person. There's been so many bad things in my life that had I chosen to be a negative person, I would be an extremely bitter, angry person right now. Fortunately, I am NOT normally a negative, mean person, so I tend to try to find the positive in all situations and learn from them.
My first marriage, for example, was a disaster. I'm not going to rehash all the drama and negativity from that relationship, but suffice it to say that had I chosen to allow that to make me a bitter person, I wouldn't have been able to open my heart to love again. I chose to learn from the mistakes I made with that relationship and person, and have certainly grown to be a better person for it.
As bad as things may get at times, I do try to find the positives in everything, or to at the very least learn something from the situation. One thing I've learned recently is that no matter how nice you are to some people, it's just never enough. Some people will just never be happy with anything, or accept the facts, and it's really a shame.
If I was childish and immature, I would engage in reciprocal name-calling and put downs. But I'm not going to stoop to that level, I've learned from previous lapses in judgement that it just doesn't do any good. Maybe one day this person will realize that I am not someone to piss off or have you on their shit list, that I can be quite the advocate and supporter when I know it's needed and appreciated. But that goes hand in hand with the title of this blog - choosing to let a situation make you bitter, or better.
This person has chosen to allow a certain situation to make them an extremely bitter person. The relationship they thought they had with someone failed, and it failed for many reasons, to include but not limited to the following:
*lack of trust in each other
*extreme, unreasonable jealousy
*insecurity
*extreme immaturity
*major differences of opinion regarding family values, work ethics, and financial responsibilities
*inability to effectively communicate
If this person had really, truly wanted the relationship to work, and to work well, they wouldn't have bullied their way into his home, demanding to move in together. They wouldn't have run home after shacking up for a mere 19 days because he was unhappy, they would have stayed and talked about it like a mature adult before leaving. Of course, they would have gotten divorced first, too, before they left their husband to go shack up with someone else. And they would have made sure that the person they were going to shack up with wasn't already involved with someone else that he wanted to continue seeing behind their back. They would have also known that once they left, he was done.
This person would have also known that harassing someone they claim to love is not the way to win them, or win them back. Calling them over and over and over again, never leaving a voice message or leaving nasty hateful ones, and sending dozens of text messages a day, is not the way to win someone over. It is harassment, plain and simple. (I know, I consulted my attorney when my ex-husband used to call me repeatedly and I could have had harassment charges filed against him). It's a very fast way to find yourself ignored, in my book.
Well, I could go on and on about what this person should have known, and should have done, but it's neither here nor there, and it's way beyond too late to salvage that relationship as anything more than a possible friendship. They have to learn things the hard way, and they apparently still have a lot of learning to do.
That previous section is not intended to sound like it's full of put downs, as you negative nay-sayers may think, it's full of facts. Facts that certain people don't want to face. But facts, nonetheless.
If you wish to comment, please feel free to do so. You do have the ability to leave anonymous comments, but be forewarned - if you, Nosey Nancy, whomever you are, leave a nasty comment on this or any other blog or place, I will call you out on it. ALL OF YOU. By names. First and last. I know you are one of a small number of people, and I will just name you all.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Damn.....
There's just so much to say, and I'm about too tired to say it. Some of it I can't share yet, the time just isn't right. Let's just leave it to say that I'm so freaking excited!!!!!
Had my eyebrows threaded this weekend. I can't do the waxing, I break out from it, and tweezing 1: takes too long and 2: I just can't see as well as I used to up close and personal in the mirror. I went to that fun little booth at Southlake Saturday morning and had the brows threaded. It hurts like a mother for a few moments, but not as bad as waxing, and there's no lingering "after-pain" like with waxing. Plus, I don't get ingrown hairs with the threading. And I must say, this is probably the thinnest I've had my brows in a while, and they are so neat! (as in not bushy and wild-looking)
Steven is dying to go somewhere on spring break this year - so much so that he was wanting to go on a college exploration trip. He's a 9th grader, for Pete's sake! A little early in my opinion to be shopping colleges. He just wants to do something other than sit at home on spring break. I can so understand that, that's what I was stuck doing all the time on spring break during high school and college. We are going to try to take him on a quick trip to the beach sometime after it warms up - he hasn't been to Florida since he was a toddler, so of course he doesn't remember it. He really wants to see the beach, and I want him to experience the ocean this year.
Manicures and how short-lived they are, suck. I got my nails done last Thursday night with the french manicure, and by Saturday morning, I had already chipped the paint on my pinky. I had to go back and almost argue with them to get them to repaint it, and they wanted to try to talk me into getting acrylic nails the next time. I told them I have no trouble growing nails, I just had trouble keeping the polish from chipping. But, they relented and fixed the polish. Tonight, I took it all off and just painted them all red. The French white had started to chip and peel, as well as the pinkish-clear polish, so I said to hell with it. Hopefully this polish job will last the rest of the work week.
We had a freaking blast at dinner tonight. Not gonna go into much detail, but it was me, Mom, Marion, Brian, Michael and Steven. Brian cooked some of his killer lasagna, and damn it was good. We had more discussions about the lake house and other projects that Marion wants us all to work on or be aware of, some to do while he's gone on his next trip to England (next week), and some to do before he and Mom move over there in April. I can't wait to be able to go hang out at the lake house this summer and not have to worry about messing Meme's place up, or pissing her off because we have the dogs down there. And it will be so freaking fun to actually use the damn boat for a change. I think I've been on a boat 3 times in the last 6 years since they've had the lake property.
Week 3 of working out has commenced. I'm still hating it, and damn I hate those freaking mirrors they have in the workout room! It's so damn depressing to look in those mirrors, they are not in the least bit flattering!
Well it's getting late and I better be heading towards that nice comfy warm bed. I hope you all had a great Monday, and here's to a Terrific Tuesday!
Had my eyebrows threaded this weekend. I can't do the waxing, I break out from it, and tweezing 1: takes too long and 2: I just can't see as well as I used to up close and personal in the mirror. I went to that fun little booth at Southlake Saturday morning and had the brows threaded. It hurts like a mother for a few moments, but not as bad as waxing, and there's no lingering "after-pain" like with waxing. Plus, I don't get ingrown hairs with the threading. And I must say, this is probably the thinnest I've had my brows in a while, and they are so neat! (as in not bushy and wild-looking)
Steven is dying to go somewhere on spring break this year - so much so that he was wanting to go on a college exploration trip. He's a 9th grader, for Pete's sake! A little early in my opinion to be shopping colleges. He just wants to do something other than sit at home on spring break. I can so understand that, that's what I was stuck doing all the time on spring break during high school and college. We are going to try to take him on a quick trip to the beach sometime after it warms up - he hasn't been to Florida since he was a toddler, so of course he doesn't remember it. He really wants to see the beach, and I want him to experience the ocean this year.
Manicures and how short-lived they are, suck. I got my nails done last Thursday night with the french manicure, and by Saturday morning, I had already chipped the paint on my pinky. I had to go back and almost argue with them to get them to repaint it, and they wanted to try to talk me into getting acrylic nails the next time. I told them I have no trouble growing nails, I just had trouble keeping the polish from chipping. But, they relented and fixed the polish. Tonight, I took it all off and just painted them all red. The French white had started to chip and peel, as well as the pinkish-clear polish, so I said to hell with it. Hopefully this polish job will last the rest of the work week.
We had a freaking blast at dinner tonight. Not gonna go into much detail, but it was me, Mom, Marion, Brian, Michael and Steven. Brian cooked some of his killer lasagna, and damn it was good. We had more discussions about the lake house and other projects that Marion wants us all to work on or be aware of, some to do while he's gone on his next trip to England (next week), and some to do before he and Mom move over there in April. I can't wait to be able to go hang out at the lake house this summer and not have to worry about messing Meme's place up, or pissing her off because we have the dogs down there. And it will be so freaking fun to actually use the damn boat for a change. I think I've been on a boat 3 times in the last 6 years since they've had the lake property.
Week 3 of working out has commenced. I'm still hating it, and damn I hate those freaking mirrors they have in the workout room! It's so damn depressing to look in those mirrors, they are not in the least bit flattering!
Well it's getting late and I better be heading towards that nice comfy warm bed. I hope you all had a great Monday, and here's to a Terrific Tuesday!
For my stalker.....
Seriously, I have nothing but nice wishes, hopes and dreams for you. You honestly did look really good in that photo that you texted Saturday night. Your make up looked really nice! And yes, I am being sincere and honest - no bullshit.
Friday, February 4, 2011
hmmmm, I'm so popular!
Wow, I see that I'm quite popular, with more than one person! I guess this blog stuff is a "hit" with assorted people, and that's cool.
Of course I have my usual stalker that checks the blog out, even if there's nothing new. My dad has joined the craze of reading my blogs, and I'm hoping to get my mom in on it, as well as getting her on Facebook.
So this makes week 2 of Gold's Gym for me. I went 4 times last week, and 4 times this week. I have taken the Power, Step, Interval, and Centergy classes, and I think I like Power the best. (Power is the barbell/cardio class, Step is self-explanatory, Interval is a step/strength class, and Centergy is a quick moving yoga/Pilates class). My least favorite would be Centergy. I'm just not all into those poses and stuff, but I do realize that it will help me with my flexibility and overall range of motion, and I think it will help strengthen my feet, especially the one I had surgery on.
I'm sitting here with the clear glaze on my hair to add extra shine to it, so I can't dilly-dally long. Someone at Sally's recommended it once, so I figured I'd give it a shot and see how it does.
Back to the working out stuff. I can already tell a difference in how I feel from the working out. I am truly tired at night and go to bed because I just can't stay awake anymore, not because I know I have to get up in the morning. Tonight I'm just too psyched about my weekend and still have packing and stuff to do, so I'm not tired yet. I got over my tired spell when I was at the nail salon - I kept trying to doze off when I was getting my pedicure, and was so damn sleepy when I was waiting for my fingernails to dry.
I've also noticed that I don't yawn continually like I was doing at Curves. Everyone at Curves used to tease me or get onto me for yawning all the time, and I just didn't get it. I still don't. I just realized it last night that I don't yawn during my workouts at Gold's. I also don't get dreadfully sleepy while I'm at work. I think that may partially be due to my slight change in eating habits. I'm eating a lot more fruit, and have avoided the candy and chips that I used to snack on. I still have my morning coffee, but I also eat a cup of dry Honey Nut Cheerios in the car on the way to work.
But, I leave the gym "down" a lot, though. I am not a patient person, and I just can't stand having to wait to accomplish something. I do realize that it will take time to get the figure back that I want, but dammit, I want it NOW!!!! As I've said many times before, I didn't gain it overnight, and I won't lose it overnight, so there.
Been having some vivid dreams again. I never make a point to write them down in the morning like I always tell myself to do, so I only remember one of them. Someone that I used to work with was now a doctor, and apparently had been my doctor for some time. I went to him because of a problem I was having, and he wasn't very helpful, and was actually condescending and borderline rude to me. He really pissed me off. I imagine I had this dream because of another person's blog I've read where she talks about being unhappy with her doctor, but I can't imagine why the doctor in my dream was someone I used to work with. It was just weird.
Anyways, I'm off work tomorrow (well, today actually), but will be checking in online periodically. I hope everyone has a great weekend! I know I will!
Of course I have my usual stalker that checks the blog out, even if there's nothing new. My dad has joined the craze of reading my blogs, and I'm hoping to get my mom in on it, as well as getting her on Facebook.
So this makes week 2 of Gold's Gym for me. I went 4 times last week, and 4 times this week. I have taken the Power, Step, Interval, and Centergy classes, and I think I like Power the best. (Power is the barbell/cardio class, Step is self-explanatory, Interval is a step/strength class, and Centergy is a quick moving yoga/Pilates class). My least favorite would be Centergy. I'm just not all into those poses and stuff, but I do realize that it will help me with my flexibility and overall range of motion, and I think it will help strengthen my feet, especially the one I had surgery on.
I'm sitting here with the clear glaze on my hair to add extra shine to it, so I can't dilly-dally long. Someone at Sally's recommended it once, so I figured I'd give it a shot and see how it does.
Back to the working out stuff. I can already tell a difference in how I feel from the working out. I am truly tired at night and go to bed because I just can't stay awake anymore, not because I know I have to get up in the morning. Tonight I'm just too psyched about my weekend and still have packing and stuff to do, so I'm not tired yet. I got over my tired spell when I was at the nail salon - I kept trying to doze off when I was getting my pedicure, and was so damn sleepy when I was waiting for my fingernails to dry.
I've also noticed that I don't yawn continually like I was doing at Curves. Everyone at Curves used to tease me or get onto me for yawning all the time, and I just didn't get it. I still don't. I just realized it last night that I don't yawn during my workouts at Gold's. I also don't get dreadfully sleepy while I'm at work. I think that may partially be due to my slight change in eating habits. I'm eating a lot more fruit, and have avoided the candy and chips that I used to snack on. I still have my morning coffee, but I also eat a cup of dry Honey Nut Cheerios in the car on the way to work.
But, I leave the gym "down" a lot, though. I am not a patient person, and I just can't stand having to wait to accomplish something. I do realize that it will take time to get the figure back that I want, but dammit, I want it NOW!!!! As I've said many times before, I didn't gain it overnight, and I won't lose it overnight, so there.
Been having some vivid dreams again. I never make a point to write them down in the morning like I always tell myself to do, so I only remember one of them. Someone that I used to work with was now a doctor, and apparently had been my doctor for some time. I went to him because of a problem I was having, and he wasn't very helpful, and was actually condescending and borderline rude to me. He really pissed me off. I imagine I had this dream because of another person's blog I've read where she talks about being unhappy with her doctor, but I can't imagine why the doctor in my dream was someone I used to work with. It was just weird.
Anyways, I'm off work tomorrow (well, today actually), but will be checking in online periodically. I hope everyone has a great weekend! I know I will!
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