NOT. I've just lost my motivation. Actually, I didn't just lose it, it's been gone for a while. Yes, I still go to the gym, but I dread it more and more every day. I'm just mad at myself for a lot of things - for letting myself get this way physically, for not trying harder to lose it, for not being more careful with what I eat....I could go on and on, but it all comes down to the point that I just feel like I'm fighting a never ending battle that I won't win.
I know what I'm capable of physically, what I can make my body do and what it will look like when I finally reach the goals I keep setting. It's just so discouraging sometimes to see how slowly this is going. I feel like it's going to take FOREVER to get where I want to be. Thankfully, I have a coach and motivator - Brian - to help me.
I know for certain that Brian loves me just the way that I am, overweight, out of shape, or not. There's absolutely no doubt about that! But he sees how I feel about myself and knows that by helping motivate me and pushing me at the gym, it will help me reach the goals that I want to reach.
Yes, I'm human. I have feelings, and sometimes they are easily hurt. I'm sensitive about some things, and it pains me at times to share these things. Hell it hurts to even talk about this! But I needed to speak my peace, and let this go and get my mo-jo back at the gym. So, make fun of me if you want, it won't be the first time I've been made fun of in my life for my weight. I'm sure it won't be the last, either. Just go back and read my blog about the pot calling the kettle black. Unless you are perfect, then you have no right to make fun of or talk bad about anyone.
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