Friday, May 23, 2014

20 Things (plus one) a Mom Should Tell Her Son

Okay, I took this list from an article I'd read earlier in the year, and being that Steven graduates today, I've taken the list and embellished it with some personal notes.  I'm pretty sure he never reads my blogs, so I'm going to go ahead and post it here and print it out to give to him tonight.  But if he reads it here, that's okay, too.

1. Play a sport.  It will teach you how to win honorably, lose gracefully, respect authority, work with others, manage your time... and stay out of trouble.  And maybe even throw or catch. 
Well, son, as you know, we didn’t do a lot of sports, and for that, I am sorry.  I just wasn’t athletically inclined, and by the time I married a good man that would have played sports with you, you were more interested in your technology and stuff.  And that’s okay.  You chose the debate team as you got older, and that taught you many of the things that sports would have taught you.  And man, can you debate a subject you believe in!

2. You will set the tone for the sexual relationship, so don't take something away from her that you can't give back. 
Please remember this!  Once you go there in a relationship, it is very VERY difficult (if not all but impossible) to go back.  Sex changes things, and it’s something both partners need to be 100% sure they are ready to do, and ready to handle any consequences of their actions.

3. Use careful aim when you pee. Somebody's got to clean that up, you know. 
I don’t know that this has ever been an issue for you, but just remember to aim carefully!  LOL

4. Save money when you're young because you're going to need it someday.  You and I both know that saving money is hard to do!  Unfortunately it’s not something I insisted you do growing up, and it’s going to be something you’re going to have to work on as an adult now.

5. Allow me to introduce you to the dishwasher, oven, washing machine, iron, vacuum, mop and broom.
Now please go use them. 
You’ve met all these things, except for the iron.  Well, you met the iron once when you were 2, to devastating results.  I remember that day like it was yesterday, I hope that you don’t have any recollection of it other than to remember to pick the iron up by the handle, not the hot plate side.

6. Pray and be a spiritual leader. 
This is something you have to figure out for yourself.  I took you to church (some), let you be educated in a Christian church, but we all have to decide our personal beliefs for ourselves when we are old enough to think about things and what we feel we can believe in.  Just know that I will never criticize you for whatever you choose to believe in.  Unless it’s that church about the spaghetti monster and flying colander (whatever it is called).  I will tease you ENDLESSLY if you go there.

7. Don't ever be a bully and don't ever start a fight, but if some idiot clocks you, please defend yourself. 
Thank you for never getting into a fight all the times you got picked on in school.  I am very proud of you for how you handled yourself with all those situations.  Plus I think it helped telling the principal that you had a temper that we had yet to see the full extent of yet, nor did we want to see if because if you had unleashed your fury on a bully, it definitely would NOT have been pretty.

8. Your knowledge and education is something that nobody can take away from you.  
Always remember that.  Even in your moments of gullibility and faux blondness, you are still a very intelligent, knowledgeable and smart young man, and no one can take that away from you. 

9. Treat women kindly. Forever is a long time to live alone and it's even longer to live with somebody
who hates your guts. 
I hope the only lessons that remain from you watching how your father treated me, are that you learned how NOT to treat a woman.  Once a woman is treated badly by someone, she eventually loses the desire to make things work and be nice.  Just remember - women can make your life hell if you treat them bad. 

10. Take pride in your appearance. 
I think you’ve got this one already.  No more having to beg, plead, or threaten you to shower and wash your hair.  Thank goodness!  I like that you are particular about being clean before leaving the house for school or to go shopping or something.  Now, to work on your fashion sense a little…..plaid and stripes really don’t go together, son.

11. Be strong and tender at the same time. 
This you are most definitely!  You have held yourself together very well during some trying times, yet been very tender and compassionate as well.  You have ALWAYS had a compassionate side, and have always treated others with respect.

12. A woman can do everything that you can do. This includes her having a successful career
and you changing diapers at 3 A.M. Mutual respect is the key to a good relationship. 
Remember that!  Just because something is traditionally a “woman’s job”, doesn’t mean the man can’t do it too.  A couple should always work together to accomplish things, and divide and conquer when necessary.  Cleaning house?  Decide together who’s doing what.  You can make it where you always do XYZ and she does ABC, or you can change it up if you want.  Whatever works for you and your partner, just don’t expect things to be a certain way that’s how it was when you were growing up. 

13. "Yes ma'am" and "yes sir" still go a long way.  I don’t think I was consistent in making you do this, but you do it now (for the most part, and at the very least with other folks outside the home).

14. The reason that they're called "private parts" is because they're "private". Please do not scratch them in public. 
I don’t know that I’ve ever seen you do this in public.  Nor do I want to.  Apparently you just knew not to do that in public.

15. Peer pressure is a scary thing. Be a good leader and others will follow. 
Yes, peer pressure is hard.  Just set the good example, stick to your convictions, and you’ll gain some followers.

16. Bringing her flowers for no reason is always a good idea. 
Or chocolates, or jewelry, or a mushy or funny card.  Figure out the little things you can do to show your appreciation.  You know, this works for your mother, too.

17. It is better to be kind than to be right. 
And if you can be kind WHILE you’re being right, then it’s even better.  But seriously, sometimes you have to decide if it’s more important to be right, or to be nice and not damage a friendship or relationship with a family member.  Or to not appear crazy like I have before.  (Short story – when you’re on the phone with someone who  knows how to push your buttons and you know you’re right and they just want to argue, don’t scream at them like a lunatic for the neighbors to hear – just hang up.  Better for everyone.)

18. A sense of humor goes a long way in the healing process. 
And we’re learning this right now, as we start trying to deal with the inevitable.  If you can’t laugh at yourself, or find the humor in a bad situation, life is so much more difficult.

19. Please choose your spouse wisely. My daughter-in-law will be the gatekeeper for me spending time with you and my grandchildren. 
Oh yes, please choose her carefully!  I will try to never stick my nose in your personal business, but if you ask for my opinion about someone you’re dating, please know that any response I give will be based on a mother’s intuition and 45+ years of life experience.    

20. Remember to call your mother because I might be missing you. 
I miss you when you travel somewhere, and at least for now you’ll be schooling locally, so I won’t have to deal with the long-term separation that so many families have, at least not for a while.  Hallelujah for that!

21.  Always remember that I love you and am proud of you!

Thursday, May 22, 2014

It's almost time.....

25 hours until the graduation ceremonies begin, as of the writing of this. Well, as of when I began writing this.  See, I know how I am, and I procrastinate, plus I'm grilling dinner in between writing, and fighting off those damn mosquitoes that adore me.  There are pictures to be scanned and shared, and that will have to wait until after dinner.

Baccalaureate services were last night.  I got all teary eyed at one point, mostly due to the music, but partly because of all the things that I've been thinking about, having to do with Steven and how he was raised, and how he has changed, and how he has turned into a wonderful young man. 

And who isn't at the service and won't be there tomorrow night.  There are several that will be missed, and I'm just not at a point I want to discuss it right now.  Deaths of relatives from the past, folks that are too far away to come, or those whose health is just not good.  Perhaps I will elaborate in the future, but I just can't do it tonight.

We have a big party planned for tomorrow night before the ceremony - light dinner, cake & ice cream, and just a fun time with family and friends.  If you didn't get an invite, please don't take it personally.  My mind hasn't been in the right place the last few weeks due to some extenuating circumstances, and it wasn't on purpose or to snub anyone.  We would love for our friends to come to the ceremony, and drop by the house for a sandwich and cake beforehand.  Just message me privately and let me know and I'll be happy to send you the address.

Pictures will be shared later, I'm gonna post this now so I can finish up with the grill.  Hope to see you all there tomorrow to celebrate my boy's big day!

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Funny Shit My Family Says

We have some really funny moments in our family - sometimes I laugh so hard I start seeing stars and feel like I'm going to faint!  So here are some of the funny comments, with the explanation about what the comments were really about.

"if you'd wash that thing every now and again Mom, you wouldn't need this itch cream" (Brian to his mother - the itch cream was for a spider bite)

"Steven you better hide those honor cords from your parents, they might want to borrow them" (my mother to Steven, regarding Brian and I possibly wanting to use Steven's honor cords for "playtime")

"Don't worry Miss Donna, we have our own - you wanna borrow them?" (Brian's response to my mother's comments about Steven's honor cords)

"What's wrong, Clydie, your taco floppy?" (at Casa Sol and Clydie's tostada collapsed)

"Can't handle your meat Ma?" (Brian to Clydie after her tostada collapsed)

"That's what she said" (Steven's response to just about anything, and it usually is quite funny)

"Did you see where I washed the boys' balls?" (Clydie, referring to the toy balls we had purchased for the pups)

These are just a few of the funny moments that have happened the last week or so.  I will be posting more of these as they happen, or as I remember older occurrences.  Enjoy!

Friday, May 16, 2014

Just Can't Talk About It

Got something going on that I can't share publicly yet.  Something quite upsetting to me, but I'm having to deal with it in the only way I know how - cramming the feelings inside, to just let them spill out later.  I will share the details on it later, when I can. 

Just to ease everyone's minds that may be wondering WTF is going on - no, I'm not getting divorced.  My marriage is absolutely wonderful!  My husband is there for me as I'm going through this trying time in my life, and will always be there for me.  (nor am I having any medical issues, or job troubles, or anything like that)

Steven is graduating from high school on the 23rd!  He is an HONOR GRAD!!!!!  I am so so so proud of him!  We went to honors night the other night, and I was good until they announced a scholarship in memory of a student that died in the fall.  I made it through his family member's speech, but when I saw the tears and the crying of the girl who was awarded the scholarship, and all the other students crying, I lost it.  But, I managed to pull myself together shortly and was fine throughout the rest of the evening.

Today was the senior/parent cookout at school.  We had a good time, and I made it through the event.  Let's just wait and see how I manage for the baccalaureate next Wednesday and graduation on Friday.  Ugh!

But - I will share this - because of what's going on lately, and some other things, I just am functioning at a minimum level.  I've been sleeping a lot, even missed my FAVORITE show Monday night - The Blacklist.  The finale of the season, even.  Luckily I have it on DVR, but I just haven't found the motivation to watch it yet.  Maybe this weekend some time I will sit and watch it.  Who knows.

Well folks, that's all I'm for writing about tonight.  Prayers and positive vibes for me and the family are appreciated, as well as for my unspoken "issue" that I'm dealing with.

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Personality Test

First Choose An Eye To See What It Reveals About You

 An eye is very complex, beautiful and intriguing. The eye symbolizes clarity, focus and purpose. The eye you are drawn to below reveals quite a bit about your personality. Choose the eye you like best to learn more about yourself.  This is a fun eye personality test! What eye are you drawn to? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, or 9? You can choose more than 1 if you feel drawn.

Eye 1: Deep Down You Are Open. You’re the type of person who will welcome almost anyone into your life and heart. You believe that it’s better to take a risk and get hurt than to close yourself off to the world. You don’t show the world your fears or insecurities. You believe that your problems should be dealt with privately. You try to be totally there for everyone, even if you’re hurting inside. Helping others is how you heal.

Eye 2: Deep down you are Conscientious. You’re the type of person who’s always looking to make a good impression and do the right thing. You believe your actions make a difference in other people’s lives, no matter how large or small they are. You don’t show the world how worried and upset you are. You see a lot of misery and injustice that you keep to yourself. You are devoted to being the best person possible. It’s the least you can do with your time on this planet.
Eye 3: Deep Down you are tortured. You’re the type of person who has a very tumultuous past that still affects you today. You can’t help but think that life is some sort of sick cosmic joke. You try to find your peace wherever you can. You don’t show the world your darkest thoughts. You have a lot to endure, and your keeping it to yourself. Your outlook can be surprisingly sunny at times. You’re an expert at picking yourself up when you fall.

Eye 4: Deep Down you are philosophical. You’re the type of person who’s likely to over think everything and anything. You like to get to the deeper meaning of things. You get so lost in your thoughts that it’s sometimes hard to tell up from down. You don’t show the world how unsure you are about everything. You may be figuring things out, but you’re still confident. You see life as a puzzle, and you like playing with the pieces until they fit together. You may not ever figure out the meaning of it all, and you’re okay with that.

Eye 5: Deep down you are mysterious. You’re the type of person who hasn’t figured yourself out, so good luck to anyone else who plans to try! You are a mash up of many contradictions, and your mood changes daily. Once find yourself, you’ve changed into someone else. You don’t show the world much about yourself. You are a person of few words and confusing actions. You prefer to observe and learn about people before you chime in. You only say things that you are sure of.

Eye 6: Deep down you are sensitive. You’re the type of person who notices everything and forgets nothing. You are very in tune with the world. You feel deeply, and sometimes the silliest things can affect you. You are easily brought to laughter or tears. You don’t show the world how fragile you are. You instead show people how insightful you can be. You are good at anticipating what’s going to happen in your life. You are often the first one to see what’s coming.

Eye 7: Deep down you are fiery.  You’re the type of person who’s always energetic or passionate. There’s nothing subtle about you… ever. You tend to love or hate everything. You have a ton of opinions, and you make up your mind quickly. You don’t show the world how anxious you are. You have a lot of energy, and too much of it means you can be quite nervous. Everything is very high stakes for you. You can’t help but build up the drama in your head.

Eye 8: Deep down you are eccentric.  You’re the type of person who has unusual interests, beliefs, and practices. You’ve always been a bit of a weirdo. You don’t care much for rules or tradition. You do things your way and let the chips fall where they may. You show the world everything about you. You have nothing to hide, and you just laugh off those who judge you. You wish everyone was more like you. There’s a lot of joy in being a non-conformist.

Eye 9: Deep Down you are Intuitive. You’re the type of person who understands other people and the world very well. You don’t let on to how much you know. You can tell so much from someone’s facial expressions or tone of voice. And you always know when you’re being lied to. You show the world exactly what you want to show. Besides being good at reading people, you also know how you’re being read. You know when you’re being manipulated, and you know how to manipulate someone if you have to. You usually don’t resort to it though!

I chose # 9.  For the most part, the personality associated with choosing #9 fits me.  I do pick up a lot on people from watching them, but there are times I just don't take the time to read someone.  If I don't want to engage in conversation, or deal with the situation, I just tune it all out.  I know when people are reading me, but unfortunately I'm an open book and easy to read, and I just find it difficult to hide things.  I can usually figure out when I'm being manipulated, and believe it or not, I try not to manipulate others unless it's necessary.

Just an interesting thing I came across today that I thought I'd share.