Saturday, October 14, 2017

Keep Truckin' On.....

My recovery process has been a lot easier than I expected when it comes to pain, but it's still a slow going ordeal.  I didn't get my stitches out on October 4 like I had expected, as they're those lovely dissolvable ones.  I think I have about 4 left, and for the most part, they just get uncomfortable at times.  The incisions are slowly closing up and healing, and I go back on November 3 for another check up.  I was also told that I will have follow ups with the oncologist for quite some time, possibly forever, as it was a precancerous diagnosis and they want to keep an eye on me to make sure my problem doesn't return. 


I have a funny story about my oncologist/surgeon - we were talking about my cruise, and I told him the story of the change in itinerary, and the delay in getting home, and he asked me where we ended up docking while waiting to get back to Florida - turns out he was in New Orleans the same time we were, as he was celebrating his wife's birthday there!  That would have been hilarious had we run into each other there that Saturday!


On the way to that follow-up visit, I started thinking about Meme.  For some reason, I was thinking of how she used the word "tu-tu" to refer to the female privates.  It made me laugh, then made me cry.  I miss her!  And I had thought about writing a blog that brought up "tu-tu" and all the other slang words for that part of the female body, but have decided against it.  You can Google it if you want to see some of the genius names people have come up with for the hoo-ha.


I can't wait until next weekend - it's opening rifle deer season!  I cannot wait to get in the stand and sit in nature.  Time to zone out with the trees and animals and find my peace.  It doesn't matter if I see anything, or shoot anything, I just really enjoy sitting in nature and the peace that comes with it.  I have time to think about my life, my troubles, and make peace with everything that's been going on since last time I was out there.  I even take a notepad and pen sometimes and write (and yes, I still keep an eye out for any deer that might be coming through my area). 


I really need my time in the tree - things are crazy in the world these days.  People bitching about the stupidest things, constant discourse with politics, death, shootings, threats of war.  It's a very scary time, and very annoying to not be able to avoid some of the insanity online.  I've found that I have friends that are on both ends of the political spectrum, some on the very far end of one side or the other, and I'm just tired of seeing all the bickering and bitching about everything.  I just don't have the energy to deal with it all, and don't care to read about it all.  I enjoy Facebook, but damn sometimes I think life would be somewhat more peaceful if I didn't have it.  (yes, I know I can deactivate, or delete my profile, or limit my viewing of it, but it's how I keep up with my friends and family so it's just not something I want to do for now)


Well folks I've said enough for tonight, it's only a little after 8pm and I'm exhausted.  I will probably fall asleep on the couch tonight ;-)  Have a great rest of the weekend!

Thursday, September 28, 2017

A September to Remember

I started my month off with a cruise with my mother, my uncle, and a bunch of other people that they knew, some of which I either knew or was familiar with.  We had a 12 person group, including one couple that were first time cruisers.  Those folks hated it, well at least the man did.  I think him having a bad time made for a bad time for the lady, but who knows.  I just know that I had a blast and can't wait for my  next cruise! 


As many of you know, Hurricane Irma was starting to make her presence known in the Atlantic during the last week of August and first week in September, and she was heading for the Caribbean, right towards where our ship was supposed to be come a few days into the cruise.  We had boarded the ship on Sunday, September 3, expecting to travel to Nassau, Grand Turk, and the Dominican Republic, but before we set sail we were informed that our travel itinerary would be changing to a western Caribbean cruise, to include stops at Cozumel, Belize, and Costa Maya.  We rescheduled our dolphin excursion for the Costa Maya stop, and away we went!


Had a great day at sea on Monday, including a fun time at the pool.  I got sunburned, and the entire pool was flashed by a lady competing in the lip sync battle.  She had on a short dress and NO PANTIES as she was shaking what her momma gave her and the activities director realized she was showing off way too much and stopped her routine.  It was embarrassingly funny though, I just can't imagine what she was thinking!?


We stopped in Cozumel on Tuesday, did some shopping, and boy was it hot and humid!  Wednesday, we stopped in Belize and did some more shopping.  After we pulled away from Belize, our captain made the announcement that due to the hurricane's expected path up the coast of Florida, we were not going to be stopping in Costa Maya and they were going to try to get us back to Port Canaveral on Friday, a day early, to keep us ahead of the storm.  No dolphin excursion for us unfortunately.  :-(


Thursday, we're having a nice day at sea, and late in the afternoon while were sprucing up for dinner, the captain comes on to make the announcement that we would not be going to Port Canaveral after all, as we would not arrive in time to get off the ship, and them to get safely out before the port closed due to the weather, and that we would be heading towards New Orleans.  Oh and it would be Wednesday before they expected to get  us back to Port Canaveral!  You talk about some wild times on the ship that afternoon.  My mother was down near guest services and witnessed a male passenger cussing out and physically threatening a female passenger (he was carried away by security), and she also said there were some women shouting about they were lesbian and proud, and couldn't wait to party in New Orleans. 


Anywho, we made it to New Orleans, I got me some beignets, and away we went.  I did not enjoy going down the Mississippi and back into the gulf on Sunday morning - first time ever being sea sick, and that's an experience I hope I NEVER repeat.  So, so sick, almost all day long.  The ship was rocking so much that they turned off the glass elevators and put barf bags outside each set of elevators.  I toted my bag that my mother picked up for me to breakfast, and it almost came in handy on the way back to my cabin.  (almost because I didn't get it to my face fast enough by Guy Fieri's Burger joint lol)  I got some advice of things to do to help, and going to the highest deck, standing at the front of the ship and looking at the horizon helped the most.  Thanks Rob!  (Sorry David, I just couldn't bring myself to try a greasy burger) 


So, I got an extra 4 days on the ship, and an extra 3 days of vacation time, which made for interesting times at work, getting all caught up AND planning for my medical leave that was set to begin on September 21. 


Speaking of my medical leave - I'm due to return to work on Monday, October 2, and I'm pretty sure I'll be ready to go back.  My surgery went very well on the 21st, other than the nausea trumping the pain that day.  I was so sick to my stomach from the time I woke from the anesthesia until I got home and plundered through the medicine bag to find some anti-nausea pills.  I did tell the recovery nurses that I was quite nauseated, and they didn't offer any additional meds other than what I was given during surgery.  I was sent home with a pretty green barf bag (much nicer than the white one on the cruise ship that I toted around that Sunday morning), and slept until dinner time, nicely medicated on the oxycodone and fentanyl I was given before I left the hospital, and the nausea pill I took at home.


I've experienced minimal pain, only taking Tylenol on Friday and not having to dip into the prescription drugs even once.  I've been so thankful for that, you have no idea!  I had a similar procedure about 9 years ago, but with only 1 incision back then instead of the 3 this time, and that time the pain was excruciating.  I've also managed to pop a couple of stitches, somehow without feeling it, and was told that they wouldn't do any re-stitching, they'd just let it heal on it's own.  I see my surgeon next week to have the stitches removed and review the pathology report, and hopefully I'll just have one more appointment with him to ensure everything is healed up properly and I'll be good to go.  The surgeon expects the pathology report to be good, and to not show anything other than the precancerous stuff they've seen in the biopsies. 


And one last thing for September - tomorrow is the 5 year anniversary of my husband returning from his deployment to Kosovo.  I thought about that this morning and am so thankful for him.  He's been so good to me and for me with this medical crap, reassuring me when I need it, comforting me and making me laugh when I get down in the dumps about it.  He even had the surgeon laughing when I had the initial consultation due to his complaints about a made up condition that he said he needed help with.  Fast-forward to surgery day - we got to pre-op and the surgeon comes in, says he's going to get started with my procedure shortly, and he'd be taking care of Brian's problem right afterwards.  Brian had the funniest look on his face at that!  But unfortunately there was no family there to witness the exchange which would have been even funnier. 


Thankful for my family this month!

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Still Not Sure.....

I'm still not sure I want to share this information with everyone.  I've had a very hard time processing things, and while I'm normally an open book about my life and medical issues, this one has been difficult to be open about.  For once I'm going to err on the side of not oversharing, and only share the bare minimum.


I'm having surgery tomorrow for a precancerous condition.  My surgery is being performed by a gynecologic oncologist.  But thankfully, as I've already mentioned, it's for something that the biopsies say are PRE-cancerous.  Doctor estimates I'll be out of work a week or so, but I suppose we shall wait and see just how much pain I'm in afterwards to determine that. 


You'd think that since this is precancerous, I'd be handling it better than I am.  I cried so bad when I found out the biopsy results in July I had to go home a little early from work.  I cried all that afternoon, and on and off all weekend.  I can't really explain it, I guess the fear of that dreaded C word, even when they said pre, got to me.  Hell, I'm emotional as hell now, writing about it.


I'm not much of a religious person, but I'm not afraid to ask for prayers.  Please pray for me, send positive vibes and juju and mojo and thoughts.  I sure need them.

Friday, August 25, 2017

What Would You Do?

I recently had a long conversation with an old friend, asking my thoughts on something going on in their life.

Friend has noticed that spouse is frequently texting, at all hours of the day and night.  Friend gets the phone bill and sees spouse is sending and receiving hundreds, even thousands of texts per month with one person.  Notices spouse is responding to this person's texts while at work, but not responding to Friend's messages during the same time period.  Spouse is also super protective of their phone, always grabbing it and putting it out of Friend's reach when they come near, even though Friend is not attempting to touch the phone.

Now to add to this, Friend drives spouse's vehicle and goes to use the GPS.  Finds unknown address in GPS.  Searches for address and finds it belongs to the person spouse is doing all the texting with.

What are your thoughts and how would you handle?


Sunday, July 30, 2017

I Am What I Am

I am what I am.  What's that you ask?  Turning into my mother.  Yes, you read that right, I'm turning into my mother when it comes to creepy crawlies and critters.  This has been going on for a few years, and the transformation is almost complete.  I did something today that my mother would have NEVER done.  But let me back up a day first - yesterday when Clydie and I took the pups out to potty in the backyard, Kita stopped at the screen door and sniffed and looked as if something was hiding back there.  Behind this door is the big plastic tub full of dog food, and there were about 5 empty dog food bags folded up and stored in the corner, with a bug zapper (unplugged) underneath all the bags.  I told Clydie that Kita was hunting, that she smelled something back there.  I tried to get Kita to move on, and told her I didn't want to hurt myself running away from whatever she might root out of the corner.  Clydie laughed at me, and then tried to prove to Kita there was nothing there.  She got the dust mop, and pulled one bag out at a time, poking at each bag as she went.  I stood in the doorway, watching, ready to slam the door closed and run into the house, leaving Clydie outside with whatever critter may be there, but alas, there was no critter.




Today, I go to run Kita out back, and she once again starts sniffing at the corner.  I decide to close the door so she has full access to poke around in the bags, and I proceed to remove one bag at a time, looking carefully as I moved each one (THIS is what my mother never would have done, she would have left this part up to Marion, and yes all of the empty bags were put on top of the bug zapper and left there after yesterday's exercise).  I noticed that there was shredded pieces of paper from the bags, meaning that something had been nesting in there or chewing up the bags to take pieces to a nest, and the hair just stood up on the back of my neck.  I start to lift the last bag, and I see a freaking RAT on the bug zapper, trying to hide himself.  I let out a scream that was so my mother, ran into the house and slammed the door, leaving Kita outside.  I had seen her lunge at the rat out of the corner of my eye, and then she was on the other corner of the porch before I could even tell Brian what had happened.  Brian was just standing in the living room, looking at me like WTF, and I was freaking out about the rat on the back porch.  He went out there, and Kita had killed it:


Needless to say, all the empty dog food bags are in the trash can now, and the area has been thoroughly swept.  Bags will be thrown away properly from now on, no more piling those suckers up!






And now to the relaxing part of my day today - I'm working on a bird bath made with flower pots, and I did some stenciling on it this afternoon:


               This is the lid that will be the water bowl - it turned out so much better than I had expected!










This is the base -  it will sit up on one end, with the water bowl lid glued to the top once we put the bird bath in place.






Our garden is really producing the roma tomatoes and rattlesnake green beans.  I think I've canned 10-12 quart jars of those beans alone this season!  Our cucumbers are doing okay, not nearly as many as last year, our yellow squash are done, and I think the zucchini are pretty close to being finished.  Our jalapeno peppers are doing very well, but our exotics are very slow to grow and produce this year. 




Well I should get to bed for tonight, I wanted to share my scare for the day, and my project I'm working on.  Have a great rest of the weekend!

Monday, July 3, 2017

The Right Way to......

My son, Steven, loves to pick on Brian about his height.  He'll make jokes directly to Brian, and that's really funny, but lately he's found a whole line of memes about "the right way to talk to short people".  Here's the first one that he posted a few weeks ago:


Brian of course warned him that paybacks would be hell, but alas, there was nothing done.  So the next meme posted was:



Steven almost sent Brian a message to tell him to bring a shopping cart home with him so they could have a chat, but I told him not to.  Brian messaged me to see if I'd seen this, and I had to go look and laugh.  Then came this one:



And the plotting for revenge by Brian began!  Lots of things have been discussed, but nothing has been carried out yet.  Other than some jalapeno juice rubbed on the rim of his tea glass at dinner Saturday night.  LOL

The final meme posted was more because it was funny, not because Steven wanted to pick on Brian anymore:








Once revenge has been obtained, I will share!  LOL

Saturday, June 24, 2017

A Little Blog Post from the Past

This post was from the last week of May 2007


 Steven fell at school on Wednesday and scraped his knee.  No big deal, right?  WRONG!!!!  You see, Steven has never gotten a scrape like this before--it's a little larger than the size of a quarter, and the 'road rash' covers an area about 2"x3" (yes I know, he's 11 years old, and he has had injuries before, including a broken wrist, but this was the worst scrape he's ever had).  So I go to pick him up from my grandmother's that afternoon and that's when I found out he was hurt.  I asked him if Meme had cleaned his wound yet and he got this fearful look on his face and said no.  I told him that he knew that it had to be done, and we could either do it at Meme's house, or do it at our house, but that I preferred to do it at Meme's house.

The reason I preferred doing it at her house was that I was hoping it would make him a little calmer, that he wouldn't be so fearful of getting it 'doctored' than he would be if it was just the 2 of us there.  Yes, he has this intense fear of having wounds cleaned and doctored for some reason, he's horribly afraid of pain and is afraid that the cleaning and application of Neosporin will be excessively painful. 

Well, I call my mom to tell her how my job interview that afternoon went, and to also let her know about Steven's knee injury, and my grandmother goes and gets the peroxide, Neosporin, cotton balls, q-tips and kleenex, and when she enters the living room, Steven immediately starts crying and freaking out, and my mom can hear him on the phone.  That's when my giggling began.  Mother and I thought it was funny that he would carry on like that, just seeing the stuff we were going to use to doctor his knee.

I finish talking to her and go in there, sitting on the footstool and propping his leg up on mine.  He starts begging me to leave him alone (mind you I haven't even done anything yet)--long story short it takes about 10 minutes before I'm able to finally pour the peroxide on the wound.  It sits there for all of about 3 seconds and he starts screaming bloody freakin murder like someone is chopping his leg off with no anesthesia.  My grandmother is fussing at him to hush, she couldn't believe he was screaming like that.  She actually told him to hush  his mouth before the neighbors called the police!  Then he wouldn't let me wipe the foam off, he had to do that himself. 

After that was done, I needed to put some Neosporin on it, but he wouldn't let me.  I got him to agree to let me "drop" it on there, so he held my hand about 2-3" above his knee, and I had to squirt the tube so that it would fall on the wound.  We got that taken care of, then went to leave.  He got up stiff-legged and I told him he better walk on it and bend it or it would get stiff and he would have problems walking. 

Some of you may think I am mean and cruel, but I couldn't help but laugh and/or giggle the entire time I'm trying to doctor this child.  I know it wasn't funny that he was hurt, or that he was so fearful over the whole thing, but something just kept me laughing and giggling uncontrollably.

We went to Walmart and Target and he insisted on getting the electric cart at both places.  I didn't mind so much, as long as it kept him happy and with me.  But it only got better once we got home and Marion (my step-dad) got ahold of him.

Marion starts picking at him at dinner time, asking him if he cried like a girl.  Of course Steven starts to weep a little, and Marion starts laughing, and my giggling and laughing starts up again.  Steven says that his New-nee (my mom) is going to ground us both from the tv, computer, and our cell phones, if we don't stop laughing and being mean to him.  Then Mom says something about I bet you're gonna have a hard time getting him the shower tonight, and of course Marion starts in on how the water is going to burn his knee like acid, and it will feel horrible and will feel like it's going to burn him down to the bone.  Steven ran over to me and grabbed me, sobbing and begging me to make Marion stop but all I could do was laugh.

I tried to get Mom in trouble for laughing too, but she of course said she was laughing at me and Marion--Marion was over there going "oh my god, stop, you're killing me" and I'm saying "stop making me laugh, my belly hurts" and was holding my stomach.  Steven said he believe his New-nee, that she wasn't laughing at him, only at us. 

Mom left the room, so Steven said something again about Mom was going to ground us, so Marion asked him what gave her the power to ground us, and Steven said 'because she's older than all of us so she has the power".  Marion counters with "yeah, that's why we're getting ready to put her in a nursing home so it doesn't matter".  Steven of course goes and runs to tell his New-nee what his Poppy said about her. 





Thursday, May 25, 2017

Funny Stuff!

I had my first MRI on Monday.  I kinda knew it was "the tube" thing and I wasn't aware that we have an open one at my hospital, so I didn't know to ask for that when I made the appointment.  I don't think I was in the tube 30 seconds and I started freaking out, almost screaming for the technician to get me out.  She suggested a washcloth over my eyes, and that we'd just try one short scan to start.  That helped a lot, and I finished it, but had to talk myself down from the panic that was slipping back every once in a while.  Thank goodness it only lasted about 20 minutes!  I still had a meltdown afterwards though.  That wasn't fun. :-(


I never had a clue that I was claustrophobic like that.  I knew that I have issues watching movies or TV programs where they're in caves, and have to go through some really tight spots - honestly, I just can't watch it, I have to change the channel, turn the sound off and turn my head, or leave the room during those kinds of scenes.  And reading about the really tiny tight spot that some people had to climb through to find some ancient humanoid skeletal remains, I had to skim over the parts about the actual cave exploration before I freaked out.  LOL  This girl will definitely be asking for the open MRI if she needs another one!


A few weeks ago I'm sitting at my desk at work and I hear this loud crash.  I look towards the door to the parking deck, figuring some silly person has tried to force their way into the door, but lo-and-behold - it was a DEER!!!  Yes, a small deer had rammed the door twice, then rammed the windows next to the door.  I ran outside to check on her, and she then proceeded to get on the roof of the basement (someone didn't have the gate latched), jumped off onto the awning next to the deck, broke through the awning and ran across the dock into the other parking deck.  Someone chased her up to the main level of the deck and she disappeared, I assume into the woodsy area by the walking trails.  Talk about excitement!


I'm going to have to start writing down all the funny stuff my family says, as we're way past due for an installment of "Funny Shit My Family Says".  I can't remember any of it at the moment, but hopefully I'll have enough to write a short blog in the near future.


I'm so glad that tomorrow is Friday!!!  Hallelujah!!!!!  I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend, and please remember that Memorial Day is to honor and remember those that gave the ultimate sacrifice for their country.  Honor those still living daily, and on Veterans Day!







Saturday, April 22, 2017

Catch Me Outside......

Yep, a play on those words by that idiotic teen girl that really needed her rear end busted and more time outs and restrictions when she was younger.  But mine has nothing to do with fighting, mine has to do with working in the yard.  I've got plans to get my garden planted this weekend, and I have almost everything that needs to be put in the ground, bought.  The only thing I'm missing are the mammoth jalapenos that I guess I'll have to go back to Wal-Mart to buy.  Today we picked up cucumbers, zucchini, straight-neck yellow squash, Roma tomatoes, jalapenos, cowhorn peppers, tabasco peppers, and 5 different kinds of bean seeds.  We already had some Brandywine tomato plants and habaneros, so that should about do it.


The exotic pepper seeds I received about 2 weeks ago still haven't sprouted.  I'm hoping they're not duds, or that we've done something wrong.  I really wanted to see the white scorpion peppers, and have those Carolina reapers and ghost peppers again.  We shall see.


I got my x-ray results on my back - I have some degeneration going on, and they want me to have an MRI and to see an ortho.  I guess I'll be scheduling that soon enough, as well as an appointment with the allergy specialist.  Hubby and I have been the doctor-goingist people this year for one thing or another!  And they've added yet another rx to my daily regimen - Vascepa.  I think that's glorified fish oil & Omega oils.  I'm already taking Zocor and 4 fish oil capsules a day, now I get to add 4 of the Vascepa capsules to it.  My cholesterol was actually good, but my bad cholesterol wasn't so great, and my triglycerides were a tad bit higher than 200 I think, and that's why they added the Vascepa.  Damn cholesterol stuff!


Well I think I'm going to take a nap, been out and about all morning and I'm beat!  I hope you all have a great weekend!



Friday, March 31, 2017

Getting Somewhere....Maybe

I finally broke down and went to the doctor today.  It was time for my medication refill appointment, so I decided to bring up my hip issues, my icky toenails, and my concern regarding my allergies.


The hip problems started almost 4 weeks ago when I was helping my mom go through Meme's clothing.  I did a lot of lifting, pushing, pulling, etc., and at one point I moved a large garbage bag in a non-ergonomic way, and immediately felt my mid-back barking at me.  I put the bag down, did a little stretching, and went about my business.  I spent the night, and the next day, I couldn't bend over, squat, or stoop without significant pain in my left hip.  Only my hip, nothing in my back. 


I have nursed my hip for the last 3 weeks, with Aleve, the heating pad, sleeping with a pillow between my knees when I'm on one side or the other, and sitting in the floor and trying to stretch.  The stretching seemed to help the most, but the pain would come and go, and usually flares up on the weekend.  Getting in a vehicle is very painful at times, no matter how I approach it.  And of course after I made the appointment, my hip has given me almost zero pain! 


The doc said that the pain was most likely coming from my back, not my hip, and I've heard that theory from more than one person when I've mentioned my discomfort.  She sent me for some x-rays, which I should hear something on those on Monday, and also gave me a shot of decadron and a shot of toradol.  That toradol burned like a mf'er - and it was a slightly delayed effect - the nurse had left the room, I moved away from the exam table, and then it was time for a silent scream!  Wow, that surprised me at how badly it burned.


As for the allergies, the doc will be referring me to an allergist for testing and the possibility of some allergy shots.  It seems that religiously taking Singular, Allegra, and Flonase, is not enough to keep me from having that constant, nasty post-nasal drip, and I don't want it to turn into the sinus infection that turns into bronichitis with the lovely asthmatic flares AGAIN.


And I got Lamisil again for the toes.  I went through 90 days of it in 2015, and it just didn't go completely away.  It's getting to be sandal season, and the nails have gotta look good! 


So now I'm home, relaxed, and my hips are aching.  I've had that effect from decadron before, but it might just be from the normal hustle and bustle of my day.  Who knows at this point.  It's a little after 9, and I could turn in soon, or just pass out on the couch.  Which would make my hips hurt worse.  Can't win for losing!


I hope you all have a fantabulous weekend!

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Life Goes On

I've had good days and bad days since Meme passed.  Thankfully mostly good days.  For some reason the last couple of days have been difficult.  I'm not sure why, the dates aren't significant to anything having to do with her.  I know she's better off and in a better place, so this feeling will pass eventually.


My hip is still bothering me.  It's much better than it was the last time I mentioned it, and I don't notice it much when I get in the car (last week the pain was excruciating to get in the car), but it still bothers me when I get in bed, wake up in the middle of the night for a bathroom run, and get back in bed.  I have to watch how I lay in the bed to keep it from hurting, and typically have to put a pillow between my knees if I sleep on the side that doesn't hurt.  Walking doesn't bother it, but the stooping and bending still let me know something's off in the hip.  I remembered the other day that my hip would ache all night when we'd go hunting, where I'd be sleeping in a camper, on an air mattress, or in a twin bed, so I'm pretty sure this is arthritis or bursitis or something of the sort, it's just decided to stick with me longer this time.


I would love to have a Shoney's hot fudge cake.  Too bad there aren't any Shoney's anywhere near us!  (or perhaps that's a good thing?!? lol)


Brian showed Steven how to change his oil last night, and tonight they're changing spark plugs and rotating tires.  My boy is learning stuff! 


I've got some wonderful opportunities coming at work - unlimited training courses through an outside vendor, and joining an organization for administrative professionals that will allow me to travel to the annual conference later this summer.  I'm so excited!  I am so thankful for my job at the hospital, and appreciate all of the positivity that I experience there.  This has got to be one of the best places that I've ever worked!






Thursday, March 9, 2017

Waiting......

I'm waiting on a lot of things tonight.


I'm waiting on my beloved husband to make it home from work (the work truck broke down on I-285 by Ashford-Dunwoody and the tow truck is on the way)


I'm waiting for my damn hip to stop hurting.  Apparently sleeping in a different bed this past weekend, combined with lifting, dragging, and pushing lots of somewhat heavy things in Hampton has wreaked havoc on my left hip joint.  It has gotten better since Sunday, but it's quite aggravating at this point.  At least I can sit and squat now without much discomfort, but bending over sends pain from my hip joint all the way down my leg.  Sunday it was excruciating to the point I actually considered going to the emergency department (you know it's bad if I consider the ED).  It's gradually gotten more tolerable, but tonight's it's kinda aching and burning, and nothing I do seems to relieve the pain.  The pain level is only maybe a 4 out of 10, but it's enough to be very uncomfortable.


I'm waiting for the pain of losing my grandmother to go away.  I know it will take some time, and I thought I was doing well until I wore the outfit to work today that I wore to her service.  I started tearing up on the way to work and had a full-blown albeit brief cry during the last couple of minutes of the commute.  I didn't wear much eye makeup today, so there wasn't a lot to wash away thankfully.  For those of you that don't know the dynamics of our family, my mother and I lived with my grandmother (or she lived with us, ever how you want to look at it) from the time my parents divorced when I was 1, until I was a sophomore in high school.  We were close, thankfully a lot closer than most folks get to experience with their grandparents.  And Steven got to experience 21 years of having a great-grandmother.  Most folks don't get that, not even a fraction of that, and he got 21 years!  Something to celebrate!


There are other things I'm waiting for - fame, fortune, blah blah blah!  LOL  Damn I would love to win the lottery!  Oh the things I could do with lottery money!

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Unbelievable.....But Not Really

I went to Hampton this weekend, to assist my mother and my uncle in going through Meme's things.  Our goal was to clear out her bedroom closet, and as much of the clothing related items that we could.  I already had an idea of the daunting task that we were facing, but I honestly don't think that my mother or uncle had a clue of just how "bad" it would be. 


The bedroom that was Meme's has a closet that's about 3' x 3'.  The wire hanging racks were loaded down with clothing, and the top rack was packed, and the floor was piled up to the bottom of the clothing with boxes and crates.  We worked on this closet for about 4-5 hours and got everything cleared out of it yesterday.  My uncle took 3-4 trips to Goodwill with everything from that closet.


Today we worked on the spare bedroom.  There was only a narrow path through the room to the closet, due to all the boxes, chairs, and other miscellaneous items.  She had 2 rolling racks FULL of clothes against the wall where the window is, not to mentioned 2 huge boxes of shoes most brand new and still in the box), 4 tubs (jumbo sized) full of clothes, and the closet full of clothing (another 3' x 3' closet).  We pulled all the tubs and loose clothing out into the living room to go through, then we moved back into the room to deal with the racks of clothing and the closet.  While going through the racks, I noticed that a couple of pieces of clothing were kind of bleached looking with the pattern of the blinds on them, then I looked at the blinds and saw THIS:




a close up view


Apparently the heat from sun shining on the window got trapped by the clothing, and totally melted and almost burned up the blinds.  They were crispy and crunchy!  Mom was freaking out due to how close it appears that room came to catching fire, and the fact the mobile homes take almost no time to burn completely up in a fire.  We removed the blinds and put up some curtains that we had found in the other bedroom closet, so the window is covered again and nothing is hanging up on the rack anymore.


Anyways, we worked on stuff in that room from about 8:30am until about 2pm.  All the clothing tubs are empty, the racks are empty, and the closet was cleared out.  Buddy will still have 2-3 more trips to make to Goodwill with the items that were cleared out, then there's more stuff to go through in that room.  And of course, this counts NOTHING that's at Meme's lake house!  There's probably at least as much stuff down there to go through!  Mom's coming back down in a couple months and I'll be taking some time off work to go down and help her at the lake. 


Here are some photos of what we were working with today:




                                the 3 large tubs and 1 under bed container are empty. there's a cardboard box full of lingerie, 4 black trash bags full of clothing, a white bag full of loose paired up shoes, and a box with several pairs of never worn or only worn once shoes


 the "junk" room - those 2 clothing racks are now empty.  we didn't touch the stuff in the middle of the room (the chairs and other stuff)  the 4 drawer wooden file cabinet in the foreground to the left? 3 of the drawers had clothing in them!


It was a tough 2 days, not just physically, but emotionally.  It was hard going into that trailer knowing that it was Meme's, and she'd never be coming back to it.  I mean we knew that day would come, but it just doesn't make it any easier.  What killed me was today I found the thank you card that Steven had mailed to her back when he graduated high school, and she was in the hospital at the time from having a fall &/or seizure and multiple brain bleeds, and wasn't expected to survive - in 2014.  She had it in her little purse that she had carried around at the nursing home.  I brought it home to show to Steven, and we will put it in a safe place for keeps. 


So folks, that was my weekend.  All in all, it was a good one.  I hope yours was as well.

Saturday, February 25, 2017

In Remembrance of Meme

We laid Meme to rest yesterday.  It was an absolutely beautiful day, not too warm, not too cool, sun was shining bright, just gorgeous - a perfect day for a graveside service.  The preacher that performed the service spoke in such a positive manner, and there were a few laughs as well.  

Meme had such a beautiful life, and in talking with the preacher on Thursday afternoon I learned a few things about her, too.  We shared many laughs, and many tears, in talking with the preacher.  And Meme looked so good.  We were able to have a private family-only viewing on Thursday, and she looked just like the "old" Meme.  I was worried because I didn't want my last visions of her to be the ones from the last time I had seen her at the hospital, and I couldn't have been more pleased with how she looked.  So peaceful, so beautiful, and in no more pain.

Thank you so much to all of you for your thoughts and prayers, to those of you who have reached out privately, who have commented on my posts on Facebook, and to those who may have just kept their thoughts and prayers to themselves.  I appreciate each and every one of you for your kindness and thoughtfulness during this difficult time.  


                                                                                        Meme & Pap Pap in the 40's
 Me around 4 years old, Meme, Pap Pap
                                                                           




 at our wedding May 28, 2011



At Steven's 16th birthday November 21, 2011


Easter brunch 2013


Christmas 2014








Westbury Nursing & Rehab summer of 2014







Meme & Steven, July 1996



view from Meme's porch at the lake, February 24, 2017


the cardinal I saw the morning we buried Meme, February 24, 2017 - my mother commented that she saw a very beautiful one outside the bedroom window the same morning

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Another Funny About Meme

I've been trying to remember all of the funny things that I've experienced in my life that have to do with Meme, and unfortunately a lot of it is blocked from my memories for now.  I imagine there's just so much on my mind with her impending passing, and it's making it hard to remember all the good times. 


In her honor, I've cooked 2 of my favorite cookies that she used to make - cocoa drop cookies, and tea cake cookies.  The cocoa cookies are good, but aren't quite like hers, and the tea cake cookies are nothing like hers.  They're good, but they're not hers.  :-(


I was thinking about posting some photos of Meme on Facebook, and I will probably get around to posting a memorial album with photos of her over the years, but it jogged my memory of when Meme first found out I got a tattoo.  I got my first tattoo when I was 39, in either January or February of that year.  I hid it from my mom until she saw it by accident, and I made sure I kept it hidden from Meme, too.  Until we were at the lake the first time together that May and she saw it.  While I was in the pool, I got the lecture from hell that we weren't like "those people", and that I should be ashamed of myself for doing that, and that the whole family was disappointed in me for getting a tattoo.


Then my 40th birthday came around on August 1st that year, and we had dinner at the Mexican restaurant in Stockbridge.  I wore a halter-style blouse that showed off my whole upper back, and she got a birds' eye view of the tattoo when she walked by to take her seat:




I didn't realize that she had stopped and looked at my tattoo like that, as Steven had the camera and was taking the photos.  I noticed this much later, and have gotten many laughs out of it since.


Anyways, I'm trying to stay positive in all of this, and remember all of the good times that we had, as there were many.  I'll be sharing them as I remember them, and I hope you all enjoy reading about them as much as I enjoy sharing them.

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Lazy Saturday

Today has been a somewhat lazy day.  Went running around town, baked some cocoa drop cookies (Meme's recipe), and fixed creamy chicken enchiladas for dinner.


I took Steven to see Meme yesterday.  That was a lot tougher than I had imagined it would be.  She was asleep the entire time we were there, The doctors are keeping her medicated with morphine to keep her comfortable.  She was peaceful for the majority of the time we were there, but she started making these horrible moaning sounds, like she was crying out.  I stroked her hair and talked to her, and she would settle down.  She had a few spells like that and then was quiet. 


Before we left, Steven and I both told Meme things that we appreciated about her, and that we loved her.  Steven mentioned how he learned to love Krystals due to all the times she took him there, and she started moving her mouth in a rigid fashion, like she was either trying to talk, or perhaps she was acting like she was eating.  It was kinda funny, but it made me sad, too.


Mom and Buddy have looked as hospices, and have selected one if that becomes necessary.  The nurses are surprised that Meme has held on this long, and are saying that she could pass at any time now.


I know she has lived a good, long life, at 92 years old.  But this is really hard for me.  I do really well sometimes, and other times I'm an emotional mess.  Please keep the prayers, mo-jo-, ju-ju, and positive thoughts coming for the whole family.  It's just a matter of time now.

Thursday, February 16, 2017

The Latest with Meme

Meme had the surgery Tuesday to remove part of her intestines to try to get the bleeding to stop.  The breathing tube was removed yesterday, and she was awake, breathing on her own just fine.  And raising hell about being "chained to the bed" all night, with the door chained shut and plastic wrapped.  The old Meme was back!


Unfortunately the news today is not so good.  She had a massive bleed while sitting in the recliner, and has had 2-3 smaller bleeds since.  The doctors have told the family that there is nothing else that can be done, other than to keep her comfortable.  No more medications other than comfort meds, no more needle sticks, no more transfusions. 


There's a teeny tiny extremely small possibility that with her strong will and desire to live forever (I have to lol at that - she always refused to talk about dying, funeral plans, etc., as if she always thought she'd live forever), that she could rally and stop bleeding like she did last time. 


She will be transferred to hospice soon, depending on how things go the next few days at the hospital.  Prayers, thoughts, mo-jo, and ju-ju for her comfort and peace for the family would be much appreciated.



Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Meme

Meme had surgery this morning to remove the part of her intestines that was bleeding.  While the doctor was in there, he found a "very suspicious" looking area around the rectum, and he removed it.  She made it through the surgery, and is now back in the ICU.  As of 6pm this afternoon, she has not awakened and is still intubated.  Her vitals seem to be good, based on what my  mother read to me off the monitors, but she was just having trouble breathing when they got her to recovery.


The plan is to remove the breathing tube tomorrow, and hope for the best. 


I have so many funny stories about her, but here's one for tonight - I was in junior high, and I'd gone to the Greek festival in Atlanta for a field trip.  When the bus got back to the school, a lot of us poured inside the school to go to our lockers to get our book bags and stuff.  I didn't check in with her before I headed into the school, and as I reach my locker, I am mortified to hear her shrill voice, screaming my name.  I am utterly, absolutely and thoroughly embarrassed when I see how she appears - greased up face, hair was covered by a loud scarf, and she had on these wild, mismatched clothes (think gingham plaid with stripes, in loud colors).  I wanted to crawl into my locker and die!  You all remember how it was back at that age!  I was so mad at her for coming into the school and embarrassing me like that, and I pointed out that no one else's parent/grandparent was coming into the school looking for them.  I have no idea why she felt the need to come in the school to find me, like I couldn't figure out she would be outside somewhere for me, and not inside.  Oh well, I've gotten a chuckle or 2 about this the last couple of days when I've thought of it.

Monday, February 13, 2017

Happy Monday?

Who likes Mondays?  Not me.  I always prefer Fridays, for a number of reasons.  Spent the weekend relaxing, to an extent, and having to get back in gear to get back at the grind for another 5 days.  Usually it's not too bad, but I couldn't sleep last night.  I've stopped taking the nightly cough syrup (last night was night #2 without it), and I've developed this absolutely maddening itch on my lower legs.  I think it's a combo of extremely dry skin and perhaps having been on 3 antibiotics in less than 2 months.


I'm one of those lucky ones that normally puts their head on the pillow and am out within 2-3 minutes.  Seriously I'm out that fast.  Insomnia is not a problem I've had to deal with more than a very few random times in my life.  But an itch like I had last night will do it.  I had managed to doze off for just a few minutes, and was up in a search for this wonder product called Tricalm.  That is the ONLY product I've EVER had that will calm mosquito bites for me.  EVER.  And I couldn't find it.  I got the steroid cream that was initially prescribed for the rash on my neck, put that on my legs, followed by some Eucerin, and got back in bed, only to toss and turn for who knows how long before I finally went to sleep.  I felt like I had that tickly feeling that you get just before an itch starts, all over my damn body, and it was driving me NUTS.   I woke up at some point later to my husband rubbing my back, and thankfully for him the itching had stopped (maybe now is the time to warn him that itching to the extent that I was, makes me violently angry? meh) 


Fell back asleep and was awakened to the lovely sound of Dominion puking in the floor around 4:30am. 
We both got up and checked on him, cleaned up the mess and went back to bed.  Tossed and turned some more until the alarm went off.  Surprisingly I wasn't all that sleepy when I got up.  I've already taken me some Benadryl tonight so hopefully I can sleep (I've got that tickly, skin-crawling itch going on again dammit)


While I was getting dressed for work, my mom called to tell me the latest on Meme.  She had a very bad late afternoon/evening yesterday (possible stroke or seizure, followed by a code blue for respiratory arrest).  She was fine this morning, waiting for breakfast, and has no recollection of the events of last night.  Here's the scoop on what she's dealing with - she's got an intestinal bleed (same thing as back in October), and they're having trouble stopping it with minimally invasive procedures.  She's having surgery tomorrow to remove the portions of intestine that are bleeding, so if you will please send up all the prayers, positive mo-jo, ju-ju and vibes that you can.


Here's to hoping I can sleep tonight!  Sweet dreams everyone!

Sunday, February 12, 2017

February 12, 2017

Nope, I can't come up with a snappy title tonight for my blog.  My brain is fried.  Part from being sick, part from being worried.  I've been sick since early January, and have gone through a Z-pack, 10 days of Keflex, and now am on a 10-day regimen of Levaquin.  Yes, I've read all the lovely possible side effects and precautionary information, so I'm paying attention to my body to see if any of the stuff happens.  I've been on Levaquin a few times before with no bad side effects, so I'm hoping that's the case this time.  At least it's working, I didn't have to take cough syrup last night or eat cough drops to be able to sleep, and haven't had a cough drop today.  I'm glad I no longer need the cough syrup at night, I've been having some crazy dreams and nightmares (worse than usual).  Thanks Promethazine DM!




I'm also still fighting that stupid rash on my neck and face.  The Z-pack the dermatologist put me on didn't make a dent in it, the Keflex seemed to knock it almost out, and of course it flared right back up within a couple days of my last Keflex.  I noticed today that it seems to have faded away, 6 days after starting the Levaquin.  I'll be interested to see if it comes back once the Levaquin is done.  I have a couple of faint scars, but at this point I'll take that over the angry red rash.




And now for my worry - Meme is in the hospital again, has been there since Thursday.  I don't want to get into details on here, if you want to know, please feel free to private message me and I'll be glad to tell you what's going on.  She's a stubborn old broad, and is hanging in there for now.  It's amazing what she's gone through over the last 3 years and has pulled through every time.  I know one day she won't pull through, and I'm trying to prepare myself for that, but it's not easy.




Okay I have to lighten the mood for a moment.  My husband was telling me the other day that some knucklehead at his job drove a forklift and pierced through the back door of a delivery truck, and also managed to puncture one of the truck's tires.  I asked him if "Joe" worked there (I'm not using the real name, don't want anyone hassling me over telling on them).  Joe worked at my last place of employment and several times managed to pierce product on the pallets with the forklift, and even knocked a person into a wall.  He was a relative of the person that ran the company, and when showed the video of Joe knocking the employee into the wall, the president said "well why didn't she move out of his way?" as if it was her fault that Joe ran into her.  Ummm, I would think the driver of the forklift would be responsible for the safe operation of the machine, and that he should have stopped until she was out of his way, or asked her to move.  And if he couldn't see in front of him, then he should've taken whatever steps necessary so that he could see.




Anyway, I'm going to stop talking about my previous place of employment, I get really riled up thinking about the nepotism that went on there and how unfair things were.  I wasn't a perfect employee by any means, but damn.  Enough.




Been down in my back today, lower back has been giving me fits.  It started yesterday, and made it a little painful to get in and out of the car.  Today when I went to the store I rode in the truck and that was painful, too.  Oh well.  It's better tonight so I'm thankful for that.  Gonna lay on the heating pad tonight and hopefully that will help.




I hope you all had a great weekend, and have a great week ahead!

Friday, January 20, 2017

The Election & Today's Inauguration

**Language warning**

This is my one and only political post.  I don't normally talk politics, as politics are not considered "polite conversation" and can cause hard feelings and arguments.  But I've seen enough political posts to last through my grandchildren's, God-willing, lifetimes, and I just had to say something.

I'd prefer that no one comment on the post, but if you choose to do so - BE POLITE.  I can agree to disagree with folks that do not see things my way, but I will NOT tolerate hatefulness, rudeness, or disrespect towards me or anyone that chooses to post.


The crazies have come out today.  And I'm not talking about the shit going on in the protests that are being broadcast on TV, I'm talking about the shit getting posted on Facebook.  On BOTH sides of the political aisle.  Abso-fucking-RIDICULOUS!


It just amazes me that folks can listen to the same inauguration speech and each side can come up with completely different takes on what is said.  I was at work so I didn't listen to it (and still haven't), but I checked Facebook periodically to see what was going on.  I knew I could count on my friend base, which spans the entire political spectrum and all ages from teenagers all the way up to folks in their 70's.  I saw the gamut from (and I'm very loosely paraphrasing here on all accounts) "OMG we are so fucked" to "oh I love Trump and he's so great and I agree with him 100%". 



And I've seen a few folks saying that Trump will NEVER be their president and they will NEVER support him and they hope he fails.  Seriously?  Why in the hell would you want the leader of YOUR country to fail?  





And I know, a lot of folks don't care for Dr. Phil.  It doesn't matter who said the above, I've heard several say it and it is TRUE - what are you going to do to try to make the next 4 years the best that it can be?  If you don't like your leaders, write letters, start or sign petitions, talk with your representatives, peacefully protest, etc. - all the stuff that sensible people do instead of destroying property that doesn't belong to them and acting like a bunch of anarchist asshats and pandering for the news cameras to make sure they get their 15 minutes of fame. 



We had 2 extremely shitty choices to vote for in this election - a criminal that cheated another member of her party out of the opportunity to win their party nomination and probably win the election, and a political virgin that is lewd and crude and brash and rude and says mean things and knows nothing about politics.  I don't count the other 2 candidates as valid choices, as they didn't have a snowball's proverbial chance in hell in winning the election.  The Libertarian didn't seem too bad until he opened his mouth and the ignorance and lack of basic world civics totally ruined my opinion of him (that and I have an issue with pot, but that's a topic for another day).  And I've always thought the Green party candidates are kooky, even back in my liberal college days.  :-)  But anyways, regardless, we had a piss-poor lot to choose from this time around.


And finally - if your hate for our new President is greater than your love for your country and your desire to see him do a good job, then open your eyes and accept that YOU are a huge problem in this country.   I'm not saying you have to like him.  I'm not even saying you have to respect him.  But give the position the respect it deserves, and give him a chance to prove you wrong.  You never know, he may just turn out to be a decent president.  Lord I hope so.