Friday, May 23, 2014

20 Things (plus one) a Mom Should Tell Her Son

Okay, I took this list from an article I'd read earlier in the year, and being that Steven graduates today, I've taken the list and embellished it with some personal notes.  I'm pretty sure he never reads my blogs, so I'm going to go ahead and post it here and print it out to give to him tonight.  But if he reads it here, that's okay, too.

1. Play a sport.  It will teach you how to win honorably, lose gracefully, respect authority, work with others, manage your time... and stay out of trouble.  And maybe even throw or catch. 
Well, son, as you know, we didn’t do a lot of sports, and for that, I am sorry.  I just wasn’t athletically inclined, and by the time I married a good man that would have played sports with you, you were more interested in your technology and stuff.  And that’s okay.  You chose the debate team as you got older, and that taught you many of the things that sports would have taught you.  And man, can you debate a subject you believe in!

2. You will set the tone for the sexual relationship, so don't take something away from her that you can't give back. 
Please remember this!  Once you go there in a relationship, it is very VERY difficult (if not all but impossible) to go back.  Sex changes things, and it’s something both partners need to be 100% sure they are ready to do, and ready to handle any consequences of their actions.

3. Use careful aim when you pee. Somebody's got to clean that up, you know. 
I don’t know that this has ever been an issue for you, but just remember to aim carefully!  LOL

4. Save money when you're young because you're going to need it someday.  You and I both know that saving money is hard to do!  Unfortunately it’s not something I insisted you do growing up, and it’s going to be something you’re going to have to work on as an adult now.

5. Allow me to introduce you to the dishwasher, oven, washing machine, iron, vacuum, mop and broom.
Now please go use them. 
You’ve met all these things, except for the iron.  Well, you met the iron once when you were 2, to devastating results.  I remember that day like it was yesterday, I hope that you don’t have any recollection of it other than to remember to pick the iron up by the handle, not the hot plate side.

6. Pray and be a spiritual leader. 
This is something you have to figure out for yourself.  I took you to church (some), let you be educated in a Christian church, but we all have to decide our personal beliefs for ourselves when we are old enough to think about things and what we feel we can believe in.  Just know that I will never criticize you for whatever you choose to believe in.  Unless it’s that church about the spaghetti monster and flying colander (whatever it is called).  I will tease you ENDLESSLY if you go there.

7. Don't ever be a bully and don't ever start a fight, but if some idiot clocks you, please defend yourself. 
Thank you for never getting into a fight all the times you got picked on in school.  I am very proud of you for how you handled yourself with all those situations.  Plus I think it helped telling the principal that you had a temper that we had yet to see the full extent of yet, nor did we want to see if because if you had unleashed your fury on a bully, it definitely would NOT have been pretty.

8. Your knowledge and education is something that nobody can take away from you.  
Always remember that.  Even in your moments of gullibility and faux blondness, you are still a very intelligent, knowledgeable and smart young man, and no one can take that away from you. 

9. Treat women kindly. Forever is a long time to live alone and it's even longer to live with somebody
who hates your guts. 
I hope the only lessons that remain from you watching how your father treated me, are that you learned how NOT to treat a woman.  Once a woman is treated badly by someone, she eventually loses the desire to make things work and be nice.  Just remember - women can make your life hell if you treat them bad. 

10. Take pride in your appearance. 
I think you’ve got this one already.  No more having to beg, plead, or threaten you to shower and wash your hair.  Thank goodness!  I like that you are particular about being clean before leaving the house for school or to go shopping or something.  Now, to work on your fashion sense a little…..plaid and stripes really don’t go together, son.

11. Be strong and tender at the same time. 
This you are most definitely!  You have held yourself together very well during some trying times, yet been very tender and compassionate as well.  You have ALWAYS had a compassionate side, and have always treated others with respect.

12. A woman can do everything that you can do. This includes her having a successful career
and you changing diapers at 3 A.M. Mutual respect is the key to a good relationship. 
Remember that!  Just because something is traditionally a “woman’s job”, doesn’t mean the man can’t do it too.  A couple should always work together to accomplish things, and divide and conquer when necessary.  Cleaning house?  Decide together who’s doing what.  You can make it where you always do XYZ and she does ABC, or you can change it up if you want.  Whatever works for you and your partner, just don’t expect things to be a certain way that’s how it was when you were growing up. 

13. "Yes ma'am" and "yes sir" still go a long way.  I don’t think I was consistent in making you do this, but you do it now (for the most part, and at the very least with other folks outside the home).

14. The reason that they're called "private parts" is because they're "private". Please do not scratch them in public. 
I don’t know that I’ve ever seen you do this in public.  Nor do I want to.  Apparently you just knew not to do that in public.

15. Peer pressure is a scary thing. Be a good leader and others will follow. 
Yes, peer pressure is hard.  Just set the good example, stick to your convictions, and you’ll gain some followers.

16. Bringing her flowers for no reason is always a good idea. 
Or chocolates, or jewelry, or a mushy or funny card.  Figure out the little things you can do to show your appreciation.  You know, this works for your mother, too.

17. It is better to be kind than to be right. 
And if you can be kind WHILE you’re being right, then it’s even better.  But seriously, sometimes you have to decide if it’s more important to be right, or to be nice and not damage a friendship or relationship with a family member.  Or to not appear crazy like I have before.  (Short story – when you’re on the phone with someone who  knows how to push your buttons and you know you’re right and they just want to argue, don’t scream at them like a lunatic for the neighbors to hear – just hang up.  Better for everyone.)

18. A sense of humor goes a long way in the healing process. 
And we’re learning this right now, as we start trying to deal with the inevitable.  If you can’t laugh at yourself, or find the humor in a bad situation, life is so much more difficult.

19. Please choose your spouse wisely. My daughter-in-law will be the gatekeeper for me spending time with you and my grandchildren. 
Oh yes, please choose her carefully!  I will try to never stick my nose in your personal business, but if you ask for my opinion about someone you’re dating, please know that any response I give will be based on a mother’s intuition and 45+ years of life experience.    

20. Remember to call your mother because I might be missing you. 
I miss you when you travel somewhere, and at least for now you’ll be schooling locally, so I won’t have to deal with the long-term separation that so many families have, at least not for a while.  Hallelujah for that!

21.  Always remember that I love you and am proud of you!

No comments:

Post a Comment