***and personal medical information that you may not want to know about me!***
Today started off kinda shitty, with all the dumbasses out on the road for my drive to work. I still managed to make it to work on time. Seemed like all the jackasses were driving white cars, and most of them had their cell phones glue to their heads. Has no one but me heard of bluetooth? I know it's still somewhat distracting to talk with a bluetooth, but not nearly as much as it is to be using a hand to hold the phone to your head, and having to drive 5 miles or more under the speed limit, and either taking twice as long to look to see that it's clear, or not even looking at all. Here's my salute to those drivers this morning:
And of course, this afternoon, being Friday afternoon, and the fact that it was BARELY SPRINKLING through some parts of town, made the afternoon commute a total bitch, which in turn made me a total bitch. But, I still managed to make it to my step class at 5:30, by some miracle (and, she started it a few minutes late!). Here's my salute to the traffic this afternoon:
Traffic all week SUCKED. Big time. Every freaking day, there was a traffic jam in the morning, and most afternoons, too. Sometimes it was a wreck, but most of the time, it was just stupid rubberneckers, having to slow down to look at the non-issue, totally boring incident on the side of the road. Or dumbfucks slowing down to 5 miles BELOW the speed limit because they see a fucking cop on the side of the road, with someone ALREADY pulled over!!!! Like they are gonna give up the ticket they are writing to chase you down at that point. aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
Not all week was bad, I guess. I had part of my annual physical Monday afternoon. The "unfun" part that involves the doctor that has the intials 'obgyn'. And without going into graphic details, I will say that what he did to me to check out my little bladder problem hurt like a MOFO. Left with me with that painful sensation of a really bad UTI the rest of the night. Thankfully, that feeling was gone when I got up Tuesday morning. And now I have a decision to make - to have a surgical procedure to fix the problem, or wait and see if more weight loss will help ease the problem.
Okay, okay, I know some of you nosy people are wondering what the hell is "wrong" with me, and I honestly don't give a shit to tell you - I have "stress incontinence". It's quite common in women that have had children, and women who are overweight, and the problem gets worse as you age. My problem started with my pregnancy with Steven, got somewhat better, and seems to have gotten worse over the past year or so. Not sure why, as I've been steadily losing weight and toning muscles, so you'd think it would get better (less weight pressing on the tummy makes for less pressure on the bladder).
Anyways, if I decide to do the procedure, it will have to be after my trip to England. Down time from work is only about 7-10 days at most (doctor said it would likely be less than that), but am not sure how long I'd be banned from the gym. I hate to do anything that will hinder my efforts there, but honestly this SI problem is hindering me from doing some activities at the gym and home (running, and jumping jacks, to name 2).
I suppose I'll research the surgery and see what different individuals have to say about their experiences before I make a final decision. Some of the things I do know about the procedure is that it's done as an outpatient, and not under general anesthesia. Apparently they give you locals and some kind of "cocktail" to make you drowsy. The "cocktail" concerns me, as I remember getting NO effect from the phentanyl/propofol/vistaril cocktail I was given prior to getting my nerve block for my foot surgery. And I just can't imagine having the procedure done, with all it entails, without being completely out, or at least stoned outta my mind and totally numb in that area.
Enough about my personal medical shit. Gabriel has been funny this week, chasing bumblebees and playing tag with them. He actually got one in his mouth the other day, but spit it out about as fast as he had chomped down on it. Luckily, he didn't get stung, and the dumbass kept chasing it.
Tonight I got home and Steven was chasing Gabriel and Dominion to try to get them to come back to the house. Apparently, Gabriel had been on the runner, and Dominion was walking freely through the yard, as we normally permit, but when Gabriel was taken off the runner on the porch by the door, he took off, and Dominion took off with him. All is well and good, the pups were okay and were scolded thoroughly, and Steven got his exercise for the day from his run after them.
Got teased with sprinkling today, and as much as I dislike rain in general, I was hoping for a full on rainshower. We need it, badly, to wash the stupid pollen away. I'm surprised I'm not totally sick from it, but I've been on some sort of allergy pill for most of the past year, and mucinex, too, so between those, I'm not in bad shape for now. Don't get me wrong, I can definitely tell it's allergy season, but I'm not suffering at the moment.
Not even from cutting the grass the other night! I brought our dead lawnmower back to life with a simple spark plug change. It cranked with no trouble, first time, after putting the new plug in, so when we returned from dinner, I changed and cut the grass. And damn, did it need it! (and thanks honey, for suggesting the spark plug fix!)
This is the first weekend in a while that I don't have a single thing planned. I mean, there ARE things I have to accomplish this weekend, but other than making it to the post office before closing tomorrow, I don't have a deadline on any of it. Yay me!!!
Negative feelings have been creeping in on me this week, and no one is to blame but me. I'm angry at myself for not having certain discussions last week when I had the opportuniy to do so. In fact, I'm about to explode with the desire to have said conversations with at least one party to the situation, but I don't know that it will do any good.
And I'm just having those negative feelings that creep in on me sometimes, that destroy my self-esteem....the I'm not working out hard enough, not losing weight fast enough, not taking care of myself like I should, I'm getting old, my wrinkles are showing, blah blah blah. Sometimes it sucks being me, dealing with all these negative feelings. I don't pretend to have things worse than anyone else, this isn't a contest to see who's got the worst "woe is me" story. I have my issues, and deal with them. Or not.
So here's something for me, and anyone else that's feeling down and out about themselves:
I've probably shared that here before, but it fits for tonight.
Have a great weekend everyone! I'm gonna make the most of mine!
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