Thankful for the Thorns

I've posted this many times before (received via email from someone years ago), and it bears repeating:


Thankful for the Thorns

Sandra felt as low as the heels of her Birkenstocks as she pushed against a November gust and the florist shop door. Her life had been easy, like a spring breeze.  Then, in the fourth month of her second pregnancy, a minor automobile accident stole her ease. During this Thanksgiving week she would have delivered a son.  She grieved over her loss. As if that weren't enough, her husband's company threatened a transfer. Then her sister, whose holiday visit she coveted, called saying she could not come.

What's worse, Sandra's friend infuriated her by suggesting her grief was a God-given path to maturity that would allow her to empathize with others who suffer? "Had she lost a child? No - she has no idea what I'm feeling," Sandra shuddered. Thanksgiving? "Thankful for what?" she wondered. For a careless driver whose truck was hardly scratched when he rear-ended her? For an airbag that saved her life but took that of her child?

"Good afternoon, can I help you?"

The flower shop clerk's approach startled her. "Sorry," said Jenny, "I just didn't want you to think I was ignoring you."

"I . . . . I need an arrangement."

"For Thanksgiving?" Sandra nodded.  "Do you want beautiful but ordinary, or would you like to challenge the day with a customer favorite I call the "Thanksgiving Special."

Jenny saw Sandra's curiosity and continued, "I'm convinced that flowers tell stories, that each arrangement insinuates a particular feeling. Are you looking for something that conveys gratitude this Thanksgiving?"

"Not exactly!" Sandra blurted. "Sorry, but in the last five months, everything that could go wrong has."

Sandra regretted her outburst but was surprised when Jenny said, "I have the perfect arrangement for you."

The door's small bell suddenly rang. "Barbara! Hi, "Jenny said. She politely excused herself form Sandra and walked toward a small workroom. She quickly reappeared carrying a massive arrangement of green bows, and long-stemmed thorny roses. Only, the ends of the rose stems were neatly snipped, no flowers.

"Want this in a box?" Jenny asked.

Sandra watched for Barbara's response. Was this a joke? Who would want rose stems and no flowers! She waited for laughter, for someone to notice the absence of flowers atop the thorny stems, but neither woman did.

"Yes, please. It's exquisite," said Barbara. "You'd think after three years of getting the special, I'd not be so moved by its significance, but it's happening again. My family will love this one. Thanks."

Sandra stared. "Why so normal a conversation about so strange an arrangement?" she wondered.

"Ah, said Sandra, pointing. "That lady just left with, ah . . . ."

"Yes?"

"Well, she had no flowers!"

"Off?"

"Off. Yep. That's the Special. I call it the "Thanksgiving Thorns Bouquet."

"But, why do people pay for that?" In spite of herself she chuckled.

"Do you really want to know?"

"I couldn't leave this shop without knowing. I'd think about nothing else!"

"That might be good," said Jenny.

"Well," she continued, "Barbara came into the shop three years ago feeling very much like you feel today. She thought she had very little to be thankful for. She had lost her father to cancer, the family business was failing, her son was into drugs, and she faced major surgery."

"Ouch!" said Sandra.

"That same year, I lost my husband. I assumed complete responsibility for the shop and for the first time, spent the holidays alone. I had no children, no husband, no family nearby, and too great a debt to allow any travel."

"What did you do?"

"I learned to be thankful for thorns.

"Sandra's eyebrows lifted. "Thorns?"

"I'm a Christian, Sandra. I've always thanked God for good things in life and I never thought to ask Him why good things happened to me. But, when bad stuff hit. Did I ever ask! It took time to learn that dark times are important. I always enjoyed the flowers' of life but it took thorns to show me the beauty of God's comfort. You know, the Bible says that God comforts us when we're afflicted and from His consolation we learn to comfort others."

Sandra gasped. "A friend read that passage to me and I was furious! I guess the truth is, I don't want comfort. I've lost a baby and I'm angry with God." She started to ask Jenny to "go on" when the door's bell diverted their attention.

"Hey, Phil!" shouted Jenny as a balding, rotund man entered the shop. She softly touched Sandra's arm and moved to welcome him. He tucked her under his side for a warm hug. "I'm here for twelve thorny long-stemmed stems!" Phil laughed, heartily.

"I figured as much," said Jenny. "I've got them ready." She lifted a tissue-wrapped arrangement form the refrigerated cabinet.

"Beautiful," said Phil. "My wife will love them."

Sandra could not resist asking, "These are for your wife?"

Phil saw that Sandra's curiosity matched his when he first heard of a Thorn Bouquet. "Do you mind me asking, 'Why thorns?"

"In fact, I'm glad you asked, "He said. "Four years ago my wife and I nearly divorced. After forty years, we were in a real mess, but we slogged through, problem by rotten problem. We rescued our marriage - our love, really. Last year, at Thanksgiving, I stopped in here for flowers. I must have mentioned surviving a tough process because Jenny told me that for a long time she kept a vase of rose stems --- stems! --- As a reminder of what she learned from 'thorny' times. That was good enough for me. I took home stems, My wife and I decided to label each one for a specific thorny situation and give thanks for what the problem taught us. I'm pretty sure this stem review is becoming a tradition."

Phil paid Jenny, thanked her again and as he left, said to Sandra, "I highly recommend the Special!"

"I don't know if I can be thankful for the thorns in my life, "Sandra said to Jenny.

"Well, my experience says that thorns make roses more precious. We treasure God's providential care more during trouble than at any other time. Remember, Sandra, Jesus wore a crown of thorns so that we might know His love. Do not resent thorns."

Tears rolled down Sandra's cheeks. For the first time since the accident she loosened her grip on resentment. "I'll take twelve long-stemmed thorns, please."

"I hoped you would, " Jenny said. "I'll have them ready in a minute. Then, every time you see them, remember to appreciate both good and hard times. We grow through both."

"Thank you. What do I owe you?"

"Nothing. Nothing but a pledge to work toward healing your heart. The first year's arrangement is always on me." Jenny handed a card to Sandra. "I'll attach a card like this to your arrangement but maybe you'd like to read it first. Go ahead, read it."

My God, I have never thanked Thee for my thorns! I have thanked Thee a thousand times for my roses, but never once for my thorns. Teach me the glory of the cross I bear, teach me the value of my thorns. Show me that I have climbed to Thee by the path of pain. Show me that my tears have made my rainbow. George Matheson

Dreams, and More

After Brian left for work this morning, I laid back down to catch some more zzzz's before getting up for work (yes, I fell off the treadmill bandwagon a while back, more on that later).  I had this horrific dream that a giant stag beetle ---------------------
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was on the wall in my bedroom.  Now, bugs usually don't freak me out too bad, as long as they aren't close to me, moving towards me, or aren't giants.  In my dream, this thing's body was about 10" long, not counting those pincers, and it had very long, spider-like legs.  I was on the bed, and it was on the wall above my closet.  I screamed, calling for Brian and Steven to save me.  Dominion came and grabbed it, and I was freaking out because I was worried it was poisonous or would hurt him, and he dropped it in the hallway.  Well FML, the thing started running towards me as I was running out of the bedroom, and it went between my feet.  I was hopping around like the floor was on fire, and screaming, finally stopping in the hallway.  I couldn't find the damn thing, and began freaking out again.  Steven came up behind me and was like "umm....Mom.....I don't know how to tell you...." and I looked down and saw the damn thing on the back of my leg!!!!  I was hopping around again, screaming and just losing it, and Steven told me to stand by the bed and he would remove it.  He donned some latex gloves and I just stood there while he was pulling it away from my skin, and I was just trying not to throw up.  I was so damn glad when the alarm went off and woke me up from that nightmare!!!!

We've been hunting a couple times, and I managed to spook a doe Sunday morning so I didn't get a shot at her.  Dammit!  Here are some photos from opening weekend:

View from my tree stand 

View from the blind

I've found that I prefer the ground blind, not because I don't like climbing the ladder stand, but because it's warmer when it's cold outside.  ;-)  Oh and I'm much closer to the action whenever critters cross my path!  We're going back to camp this weekend, and maybe this weekend, I will FINALLY get my first deer!


More on the treadmill bandwagon - about a month ago or so ago, the sickness went around the house.  I felt horrible with allergies and sinus, and had a very hard time breathing and not coughing.  I laid off the treadmill while I was symptomatic, which turned into 2 weeks of no exercise.  Then I wasn't going to bed early enough because of one reason or another, and then we had company over, and here it is November 8 and I haven't been on it in forever.  I felt better when I was walking 5 days a week, and will start back with it tomorrow.

I cannot wait for this election bullshit to be done.  ALL of the candidates SUCK, and everyone has their opinion on who the better candidate is.  They're just opinions.  I've seen so many people get so bent out of shape over politics, and friendships ruined because of difference of opinion.  I don't like to put my political opinions out there, as I know how it is for some folks, to not use that info to judge others.  And this election has truly turned into a picking of the lesser evil, and there's just no good option for the country.  May the good lord protect our country and guide whomever wins tonight, if they haven't already sold their soul to the devil.

Ten Years Already?

I stopped by Wal-Mart this afternoon and ran into a couple folks that go to the church I used to attend when I previously lived in Carrollton.  They thought I wouldn't remember them, but after all this time I do.  We chatted for a few minutes, they asked me how I was doing, if I was still living out here (told them I had left for a while but came back), and I mentioned buying lunch stuff for my husband so he'd have something to eat when he went to work.  They never asked if I was still married to the monster, or even anything about Steven or CJ.  I was a little surprised that they didn't ask me if I was back in church somewhere, or invite me to come back to their church.  (Please go back to this blog to read my issue with their church.)

I've run into the preacher for that church once at the hospital (I saw him once previous to that, but he either didn't see me, or didn't recognize me as we passed by each other).  I imagine being that I work at the hospital, and preachers tend to visit the sick folks, I'll run into him again.  I haven't mentioned to him my issue with the church, as it was a brief run-in and I just don't know that I want to bring it up under those circumstances.  I've actually fantasized about going to the church one Sunday morning, and asking to speak to the congregation, to let them know how I feel about the fact that it's been 10 years now and no one has reached out to me.  Perhaps my mere presence at the church would make most who knew me realize what they've not done?  Alas it's only a fantasy, I don't see myself ever stepping foot back in that church.

As I was leaving Wal-Mart and thinking about my conversation with these 2 folks, it made me realize that I have been woot woot divorced from the monster for 10 years this month!!! 

I never imagined my life would be this peaceful and happy, as it is now.  Sure, Brian and I have our ups and downs like any normal couple, but the vast majority of our ups and downs are not related to each other or our relationship, but to outside forces weighing on us.  And fortunately, whenever something is putting pressure on one of us, or our relationship, we discuss it and work through it.



Very happily married to the love of my life for 5 years and counting!!!!!

Time for Some Random Goodness

Yep, gonna bounce from one topic to another, but now that I think about it, I do that on most blogs these days, don't I?




The other day, Gabriel was laying on the floor and I thought I saw a GIANT dingleberry hanging off his butt, like the size of a large grape.  Scared me half to death but thankfully I was just seeing things.  He's a messy boy, but OMG I was glad he wasn't that messy.




So last weekend, Brian was trying out a new medication (his doctor thinks he has high blood pressure, but we're only seeing normal readings in the mornings and evenings, so I think it's one of his other meds that's elevating it during the day).  Anywho, Steven was at work, and Clydie and I left Brian asleep on the couch while we went to the store.  Gabriel was on the back porch, and Dominion and Kita were inside.  We get back home, and the back door is WIDE open (Gabriel knows how to open it if it's not locked), Kita miraculously had not run away with the open access to the backyard, and there was a bird flying around in my bedroom!  Brian's blood pressure was 90/60 when we checked it later that night, and he slept all day long, so he's no longer taking that medicine!



My beloved pickles have once again done me wrong.  I got some pickle spears and slices at the hospital cafeteria to go with my burger and fries one day last week, and I overdid it.  They really did a number on my tummy.  :'(

We're having a yard sale this weekend.  Some of our things, and some stuff from my mom's.  We really have our work cut out for us the next few nights, getting everything ready.  Hopefully we'll sell most everything and it will clear some much needed room in the garage.  (There's hardly any walking room in there at the moment)

Clydie made some awesomely delicious ghost pepper chocolate chip cookies last week.  The heat from the pepper powder cuts some of the sweet. If you want the recipe, let me know.


So you know the insurance commercial with the couple, and they're talking about their perfect driving records until someone hit a food truck?  Well that was us, not with a food truck but with an SUV.  Perfect!  We went to court recently because it's required when there's an accident involved, and what a time we had!  Did you know that in Georgia, if you have an accident and want to plead Nolo Contendere, you have to have a letter from your insurance company that states they are accepting the liability for damages to the other vehicles involved in the accident?  (pleading Nolo saves you from 3 points on your license) We called the insurance company and got the letter, and while we were waiting for it to come through, the fire alarm went off.  We had to stand outside in the hot sun, across the street from the courthouse, for about half an hour.  In all, we spent about 5 hours at the court house for something that once you're in front of a judge, takes less than 5 minutes. :-/


Got my flu shot today.  I hate getting shots, especially in the arm.  It stung for a bit, too.  And started stinging again after I got home.  I imagine my arm will be sore tomorrow and I'll be whiny.  At least it didn't give me a headache and make me feel sick like last year!


I've fallen off the treadmill wagon - it's been about 2 weeks since I've been on it, due to being very sick, and then just not getting enough sleep.  I'm hoping to get to bed early enough tonight so that I can get on the treadmill in the morning!  I feel so much better when I walk daily, it's really worth it.

It's Been a Year Already?????

I cannot believe it's been a year since Steven had his accident.  Here's a link to the post I wrote right after it happened:  You See What Had Happened Was......


I see those photos in my phone sometimes (yes I keep them there as a reminder), and I still sometimes think "what if".  I don't dwell on that, though. I think Steven learned an important lesson that day, about how very quick and easy it is to have a devastating accident, and how very lucky, fortunate, and blessed he was to have survived it with just a few bumps and bruises.


So to all my friends and family - please pay attention to your driving.  Always wear your seatbelt (thank goodness Steven was!), pay attention to the speed limits, and don't freak out and overcorrect if you drift a tiny bit to one side of the road, as it's too easy to lose control, even when you're not speeding.

Five Years Ago Today......

I was seeing my husband off for his deployment to Kosovo.  It was a beautiful, bright sunshiny day, very cool , very early morning.  And devastatingly sad at the time.  Here are some photos from the day:

It was a tough year, full of many trials and tribulations for us as individuals, a couple and as a family, but we came through it stronger than ever.  His mother beat cancer while he was gone, and moved in with us.  I got to deal with a busted water heater, a leaky aquarium, and some other stuff that seem like really distant memories but were big deals to me, having to take care of by myself.  He injured his shoulder at the gym over there and came back to have surgery a few months after his return. 

Brian came home the next year, on September 29, 2012, and as of July 31, 2016, is now retired.  I don't ever have to worry about sending him off on a deployment again.  I get to keep my husband at home, and for that I am forever thankful.

Just a Ramblin'

Lots of things on my mind, many random topics.  Where do I begin?


Kita is still an escape artist, however she doesn't seem to stay gone as long each time (she ran off 3 times in about 3 days recently).  She is chipped, and has a name tag with my phone # on it, so if someone gets her, we can be found.  I finally gave up and bought a runner to attach to the back steps, so when she goes in the back yard she can't get near the fence to dig out.  Of course, that makes her want to just lay there, all sad because she can't go sniffing and peeing on everything like the boys do, and then escape when we aren't looking.  I just worry that she will eat someone's kitten or puppy, and there are a LOT of those in our neighborhood these days.


The household is fighting "the crud" this week - Brian had it first, then I got it, and now Clydie is fighting it.  So far, Steven's been the lucky one and has avoided getting sick.  I hope it stays that way, for his and his girlfriend's sake!  This shit is no joke - I really don't think this is any garden-variety cold.  I was miserable all weekend, and just started pulling out from this yesterday.  Today I had a horrid sore throat, it hurt so bad to swallow this morning but the more coffee I drank the better it felt.  Hmmm coffee......  The hot tea I drank at work helped, too.


I'm sick to death of all the political bullshit going on.  I'm tired of the news about it, I'm tired of seeing all the garbage posted on Facebook, tired of seeing people that I know rabidly attacking one candidate or another, and attacking or being attacked by those that disagree with them.  It's fine to dislike one or more of the candidates.  Hell, I don't like ANY of them - Trump, Clinton, or Johnson (and I don't count that kooky Green party candidate, whatever her name is) - for one reason or another.  It's a crying shame that this election will be about voting against someone, rather than voting for someone, and trying to pick the lesser evil.  But I just don't understand why people have to be so damn hateful to each other. 


I try to keep my political beliefs to myself, and rarely put my support out there for anyone in particular (I think my family and my closest friends likely would know my political leanings).  I just don't want to get into long, drawn out conversations with people about it, and I avoid conflict like the plague, Lord knows I had enough conflict in my past that I do my best to avoid it if I can now. I've shared memes that have made fun of both Hillary and Trump, and will likely to continue doing so.  I do know that regardless of who "wins" the election in November, our country is in for a world of hurt and hard times.


Well damn, I got on a soapbox there for a minute, didn't I? 


Anyways, bow hunting season is upon us, and Brian got his first deer with his crossbow on opening weekend, a doe.  I went with him the following weekend, to be the Camp Wench (I don't have a bow or a crossbow), and cooked dinner and fixed sandwiches.  I was supposed to cook Sunday morning breakfast but they ended up only wanting more sandwiches, so that's what they got.  I managed to read an entire Stephen King book - "Mr. Mercedes" - and can't wait to read the next 2 in that series.  I can't wait til rifle season starts!


I've been thinking a lot about my grandmother, Meme, lately, and how much she has changed over the past few years.  In early summer, she was moved into the nursing home side of the care home that she's been in since late December 2015.  I'd been told her reality was definitely not the real reality, but I just don't think anyone can truly prepare you for what you will witness with someone who has such an active imagination/memory/alternate reality.  On September 2, Meme fell out of her wheelchair and had to have stitches.  As my uncle was out of town on business, and my mother was at her home in West Virginia, I went to check on Meme the next morning.  She had a nasty wound on her forehead, that appeared to have been closed with liquid bandage, and she had black eyes and the bridge of her nose was bruised.  (we were told she received 4 stitches - they must have been on the inside, because there were no external stitches)


The visit was brief, and pleasant.  Meme's face lit up when she saw me and Clydie, and she seemed genuinely happy to see us.  She said "well hey there it's so good to see you - but y'all will have to come back this afternoon, I'm waiting on the bus and can't get out of line".  She pointed out everyone in the communal living room area, and said they were all waiting on the bus, too.  I played along and asked her where she was going - "to the tournament in Bainbridge I suppose" was the response I got.  She kept telling us we'd have to come back later, but that she was so glad we'd come by. 


To show you how much she's changed in just under 2 years - here's a photo of Meme from Christmas Day, 2014:

And here she is on September 3, 2016:



We've also had a death in the family recently - last month, on August 23, my husband's niece, Clydie's granddaughter, Rheanna, passed away.  That one was a tough one, for a number of reasons.  I'm not going to go into details, as it's not my story to tell.  Love each other folks, and make sure your loved ones know that you love them.  No one is promised tomorrow.