In Remembrance of Meme

We laid Meme to rest yesterday.  It was an absolutely beautiful day, not too warm, not too cool, sun was shining bright, just gorgeous - a perfect day for a graveside service.  The preacher that performed the service spoke in such a positive manner, and there were a few laughs as well.  

Meme had such a beautiful life, and in talking with the preacher on Thursday afternoon I learned a few things about her, too.  We shared many laughs, and many tears, in talking with the preacher.  And Meme looked so good.  We were able to have a private family-only viewing on Thursday, and she looked just like the "old" Meme.  I was worried because I didn't want my last visions of her to be the ones from the last time I had seen her at the hospital, and I couldn't have been more pleased with how she looked.  So peaceful, so beautiful, and in no more pain.

Thank you so much to all of you for your thoughts and prayers, to those of you who have reached out privately, who have commented on my posts on Facebook, and to those who may have just kept their thoughts and prayers to themselves.  I appreciate each and every one of you for your kindness and thoughtfulness during this difficult time.  


                                                                                        Meme & Pap Pap in the 40's

 Me around 4 years old, Meme, Pap Pap
                                                                           

 at our wedding May 28, 2011

At Steven's 16th birthday November 21, 2011

Easter brunch 2013

Christmas 2014

Westbury Nursing & Rehab summer of 2014

Meme & Steven, July 1996

view from Meme's porch at the lake, February 24, 2017

the cardinal I saw the morning we buried Meme, February 24, 2017 - my mother commented that she saw a very beautiful one outside the bedroom window the same morning

Another Funny About Meme

I've been trying to remember all of the funny things that I've experienced in my life that have to do with Meme, and unfortunately a lot of it is blocked from my memories for now.  I imagine there's just so much on my mind with her impending passing, and it's making it hard to remember all the good times. 


In her honor, I've cooked 2 of my favorite cookies that she used to make - cocoa drop cookies, and tea cake cookies.  The cocoa cookies are good, but aren't quite like hers, and the tea cake cookies are nothing like hers.  They're good, but they're not hers.  :-(


I was thinking about posting some photos of Meme on Facebook, and I will probably get around to posting a memorial album with photos of her over the years, but it jogged my memory of when Meme first found out I got a tattoo.  I got my first tattoo when I was 39, in either January or February of that year.  I hid it from my mom until she saw it by accident, and I made sure I kept it hidden from Meme, too.  Until we were at the lake the first time together that May and she saw it.  While I was in the pool, I got the lecture from hell that we weren't like "those people", and that I should be ashamed of myself for doing that, and that the whole family was disappointed in me for getting a tattoo.


Then my 40th birthday came around on August 1st that year, and we had dinner at the Mexican restaurant in Stockbridge.  I wore a halter-style blouse that showed off my whole upper back, and she got a birds' eye view of the tattoo when she walked by to take her seat:

I didn't realize that she had stopped and looked at my tattoo like that, as Steven had the camera and was taking the photos.  I noticed this much later, and have gotten many laughs out of it since.

Anyways, I'm trying to stay positive in all of this, and remember all of the good times that we had, as there were many.  I'll be sharing them as I remember them, and I hope you all enjoy reading about them as much as I enjoy sharing them.

Lazy Saturday

Today has been a somewhat lazy day.  Went running around town, baked some cocoa drop cookies (Meme's recipe), and fixed creamy chicken enchiladas for dinner.


I took Steven to see Meme yesterday.  That was a lot tougher than I had imagined it would be.  She was asleep the entire time we were there, The doctors are keeping her medicated with morphine to keep her comfortable.  She was peaceful for the majority of the time we were there, but she started making these horrible moaning sounds, like she was crying out.  I stroked her hair and talked to her, and she would settle down.  She had a few spells like that and then was quiet. 


Before we left, Steven and I both told Meme things that we appreciated about her, and that we loved her.  Steven mentioned how he learned to love Krystals due to all the times she took him there, and she started moving her mouth in a rigid fashion, like she was either trying to talk, or perhaps she was acting like she was eating.  It was kinda funny, but it made me sad, too.


Mom and Buddy have looked as hospices, and have selected one if that becomes necessary.  The nurses are surprised that Meme has held on this long, and are saying that she could pass at any time now.


I know she has lived a good, long life, at 92 years old.  But this is really hard for me.  I do really well sometimes, and other times I'm an emotional mess.  Please keep the prayers, mo-jo-, ju-ju, and positive thoughts coming for the whole family.  It's just a matter of time now.

The Latest with Meme

Meme had the surgery Tuesday to remove part of her intestines to try to get the bleeding to stop.  The breathing tube was removed yesterday, and she was awake, breathing on her own just fine.  And raising hell about being "chained to the bed" all night, with the door chained shut and plastic wrapped.  The old Meme was back!


Unfortunately the news today is not so good.  She had a massive bleed while sitting in the recliner, and has had 2-3 smaller bleeds since.  The doctors have told the family that there is nothing else that can be done, other than to keep her comfortable.  No more medications other than comfort meds, no more needle sticks, no more transfusions. 


There's a teeny tiny extremely small possibility that with her strong will and desire to live forever (I have to lol at that - she always refused to talk about dying, funeral plans, etc., as if she always thought she'd live forever), that she could rally and stop bleeding like she did last time. 


She will be transferred to hospice soon, depending on how things go the next few days at the hospital.  Prayers, thoughts, mo-jo, and ju-ju for her comfort and peace for the family would be much appreciated.

Meme

Meme had surgery this morning to remove the part of her intestines that was bleeding.  While the doctor was in there, he found a "very suspicious" looking area around the rectum, and he removed it.  She made it through the surgery, and is now back in the ICU.  As of 6pm this afternoon, she has not awakened and is still intubated.  Her vitals seem to be good, based on what my  mother read to me off the monitors, but she was just having trouble breathing when they got her to recovery.


The plan is to remove the breathing tube tomorrow, and hope for the best. 


I have so many funny stories about her, but here's one for tonight - I was in junior high, and I'd gone to the Greek festival in Atlanta for a field trip.  When the bus got back to the school, a lot of us poured inside the school to go to our lockers to get our book bags and stuff.  I didn't check in with her before I headed into the school, and as I reach my locker, I am mortified to hear her shrill voice, screaming my name.  I am utterly, absolutely and thoroughly embarrassed when I see how she appears - greased up face, hair was covered by a loud scarf, and she had on these wild, mismatched clothes (think gingham plaid with stripes, in loud colors).  I wanted to crawl into my locker and die!  You all remember how it was back at that age!  I was so mad at her for coming into the school and embarrassing me like that, and I pointed out that no one else's parent/grandparent was coming into the school looking for them.  I have no idea why she felt the need to come in the school to find me, like I couldn't figure out she would be outside somewhere for me, and not inside.  Oh well, I've gotten a chuckle or 2 about this the last couple of days when I've thought of it.

Happy Monday?

Who likes Mondays?  Not me.  I always prefer Fridays, for a number of reasons.  Spent the weekend relaxing, to an extent, and having to get back in gear to get back at the grind for another 5 days.  Usually it's not too bad, but I couldn't sleep last night.  I've stopped taking the nightly cough syrup (last night was night #2 without it), and I've developed this absolutely maddening itch on my lower legs.  I think it's a combo of extremely dry skin and perhaps having been on 3 antibiotics in less than 2 months.


I'm one of those lucky ones that normally puts their head on the pillow and am out within 2-3 minutes.  Seriously I'm out that fast.  Insomnia is not a problem I've had to deal with more than a very few random times in my life.  But an itch like I had last night will do it.  I had managed to doze off for just a few minutes, and was up in a search for this wonder product called Tricalm.  That is the ONLY product I've EVER had that will calm mosquito bites for me.  EVER.  And I couldn't find it.  I got the steroid cream that was initially prescribed for the rash on my neck, put that on my legs, followed by some Eucerin, and got back in bed, only to toss and turn for who knows how long before I finally went to sleep.  I felt like I had that tickly feeling that you get just before an itch starts, all over my damn body, and it was driving me NUTS.   I woke up at some point later to my husband rubbing my back, and thankfully for him the itching had stopped (maybe now is the time to warn him that itching to the extent that I was, makes me violently angry? meh) 


Fell back asleep and was awakened to the lovely sound of Dominion puking in the floor around 4:30am. 

We both got up and checked on him, cleaned up the mess and went back to bed.  Tossed and turned some more until the alarm went off.  Surprisingly I wasn't all that sleepy when I got up.  I've already taken me some Benadryl tonight so hopefully I can sleep (I've got that tickly, skin-crawling itch going on again dammit)


While I was getting dressed for work, my mom called to tell me the latest on Meme.  She had a very bad late afternoon/evening yesterday (possible stroke or seizure, followed by a code blue for respiratory arrest).  She was fine this morning, waiting for breakfast, and has no recollection of the events of last night.  Here's the scoop on what she's dealing with - she's got an intestinal bleed (same thing as back in October), and they're having trouble stopping it with minimally invasive procedures.  She's having surgery tomorrow to remove the portions of intestine that are bleeding, so if you will please send up all the prayers, positive mo-jo, ju-ju and vibes that you can.


Here's to hoping I can sleep tonight!  Sweet dreams everyone!

February 12, 2017

Nope, I can't come up with a snappy title tonight for my blog.  My brain is fried.  Part from being sick, part from being worried.  I've been sick since early January, and have gone through a Z-pack, 10 days of Keflex, and now am on a 10-day regimen of Levaquin.  Yes, I've read all the lovely possible side effects and precautionary information, so I'm paying attention to my body to see if any of the stuff happens.  I've been on Levaquin a few times before with no bad side effects, so I'm hoping that's the case this time.  At least it's working, I didn't have to take cough syrup last night or eat cough drops to be able to sleep, and haven't had a cough drop today.  I'm glad I no longer need the cough syrup at night, I've been having some crazy dreams and nightmares (worse than usual).  Thanks Promethazine DM!




I'm also still fighting that stupid rash on my neck and face.  The Z-pack the dermatologist put me on didn't make a dent in it, the Keflex seemed to knock it almost out, and of course it flared right back up within a couple days of my last Keflex.  I noticed today that it seems to have faded away, 6 days after starting the Levaquin.  I'll be interested to see if it comes back once the Levaquin is done.  I have a couple of faint scars, but at this point I'll take that over the angry red rash.




And now for my worry - Meme is in the hospital again, has been there since Thursday.  I don't want to get into details on here, if you want to know, please feel free to private message me and I'll be glad to tell you what's going on.  She's a stubborn old broad, and is hanging in there for now.  It's amazing what she's gone through over the last 3 years and has pulled through every time.  I know one day she won't pull through, and I'm trying to prepare myself for that, but it's not easy.




Okay I have to lighten the mood for a moment.  My husband was telling me the other day that some knucklehead at his job drove a forklift and pierced through the back door of a delivery truck, and also managed to puncture one of the truck's tires.  I asked him if "Joe" worked there (I'm not using the real name, don't want anyone hassling me over telling on them).  Joe worked at my last place of employment and several times managed to pierce product on the pallets with the forklift, and even knocked a person into a wall.  He was a relative of the person that ran the company, and when showed the video of Joe knocking the employee into the wall, the president said "well why didn't she move out of his way?" as if it was her fault that Joe ran into her.  Ummm, I would think the driver of the forklift would be responsible for the safe operation of the machine, and that he should have stopped until she was out of his way, or asked her to move.  And if he couldn't see in front of him, then he should've taken whatever steps necessary so that he could see.




Anyway, I'm going to stop talking about my previous place of employment, I get really riled up thinking about the nepotism that went on there and how unfair things were.  I wasn't a perfect employee by any means, but damn.  Enough.




Been down in my back today, lower back has been giving me fits.  It started yesterday, and made it a little painful to get in and out of the car.  Today when I went to the store I rode in the truck and that was painful, too.  Oh well.  It's better tonight so I'm thankful for that.  Gonna lay on the heating pad tonight and hopefully that will help.




I hope you all had a great weekend, and have a great week ahead!