Friday, January 28, 2011


Here we go again with the vivid dreams.  In past blogs on another website, I've discussed dreams that I've had.  Some good, some bad, some indifferent.  Some I can put my finger on why I'd be having them, some I have no clue.

It's been a while since I've had vivid dreams that I can remember.  When I say "a while", I mean probably 2-3 months or longer.  One of the dreams this week follows a common theme, and is similar to others I've had.  It's actually more of a nightmare.  It involves going back to college.  This particular dream involved me starting college, I don't know what college, and I was in an electric scooter.  I was in a building, trying to get out so I could head to registration to add a music class (seems I was on scholarship again and totally forgot to sign myself up for a music ensemble).  I couldn't get out of the building because it wasn't wheelchair/scooter friendly.  I don't know why I was on this electric scooter, I was looking at myself and feeling my legs in the dream, and I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, I just assumed I had hurt my ankle again.  I never did make it out of the building.

Similar dreams to this one usually involve me showing up for the final exam in some math-related class, having skipped all semester long, and freaking out over worrying about passing the final and the class.  I never do make it into the classroom and see the test.  it's just weird that I keep having dreams like that!

The other vivid dream I had, had something to do with my ex-husband.  I can't recall off the top of my head the specifics, but I know it involved him.  I'm not sure what keeps sparking dreams about him - I don't think about him very often at all.

Okay, time for off-subject talk.  It's a bad week for me emotionally.  PMS just sucks the joy and happiness right out of my life.  I go from the "glass half full" kind of person to the "glass is half empty so you might was well just pour that shit out" kind of person.  There is a lot stress at work, and I'm just having a personal pity party about this whole working out/losing weight situation.  I sat in the car on the way home from Gold's last night, thinking about how damn long it's going to take me to lose the weight I want to lose, and wonder if I'm ever going to get into the physical shape that I want to be in.

Then I remembered - hey, you've probably lost/gained 200+lbs in your lifetime overall, you can do this again. It's only a little over 50lbs to goal.  And I also remember that the weight didn't appear overnight, so it's not going to disappear overnight, either.  Damn that's frustrating and downright discouraging at times!  Makes me get mad at myself for letting myself get like this again.

Onto happier things - Brian, Steven and I had dinner with Michael, Amanda and her daughter, Avery.  It's the first time I've gotten to see Avery and she is absolutely adorable.  If you have access to my pictures on Facebook, there is an album of pictures of her from tonight.

Okay, I'm up past my bedtime, somebody spank me!

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