That magical weekend

Military ball 2011. It was such a magical weekend. We'd talked about getting married since he'd moved in during the summer of 2010, but there was no talk of when.

He had a meeting that Friday night and when it was over, he said he had someone he wanted me to meet. I figured it was one of his soldiers, and followed him through the hotel as he looked for this person.

Finally, we find him in one of the meeting rooms. He was on the phone, and while we waited for him to finish, I started to wonder who this man was, and why we had to meet. When he introduced himself, it suddenly dawned on me why we were meeting - this was Chaplain Nick, the man Brian had picked to be the officiant for our wedding ceremony! 

I suddenly realized that this was it, Brian was ready to set a date and make plans!  I was so excited that evening I was about to explode!  I couldn't wait to tell my mom and all my friends! 

I was on cloud 9 all weekend long. The wheels started turning in my head regarding wedding plans. We had about 3 1/2 months to plan, as we set our date for May 28, Memorial Day weekend.

These photos popped up on my Timehop, and I just wanted to share a little of the story behind it.

BTW - these photos are why my mother tried to talk me out of wearing heels at the wedding!

 

Really Great News!

I got some really awesome news today!  I had a "wellness check" today, to include cholesterol, sugar, blood pressure, and weight.

I failed the weight/BMI portion, which I knew I would.  That's a battle I'm fighting now, and am making slow progress at it.

The nurse had the glucose monitor upside down and it looked like it said 211 - I freaked out!  But, it was only 112.  Should be 110 or less, so I've got to really watch my sugar closely while I'm going through this weight loss and exercise process.  (I was fasting, so the sugar shouldn't have been over the 110)

Because of the scare with the glucose monitor, my blood pressure shot up.  I believe it was 121/90 when she checked it the first time.  Because that bottom # was so high, she checked it manually on the other arm, and it was 117/78.  Much better!  (Of course I consciously made the effort to relax and take deep breaths, and I think that helped)

But here's the great news - my cholesterol is down to 179!  (it was 247 last year)  The "bad" cholesterol (LDL) is 55 (I think that's the lowest mine has EVER been!), and my "good" cholesterol (HDL)is a big old 72!  I had a doctor once tell me if I could get my HDL to 75, regardless of the other #'s, I would be "bulletproof" against heart disease.  Of course I'd like the LDL and the triglycerides to be within appropriate limits, but I'll take this as a great bit of news today. 

The one bummer in the cholesterol figure is that my triglycerides was 262.  Yeah, those aren't supposed to be greater than 150, so I've still got some work to do.  But I'm on the right track.  I've been going to the gym pretty regularly since I started back a few weeks ago, only missing twice last week for date night and family night, and I missed tonight because I got delayed at work and wouldn't have had time to walk my 3 miles before time to go home for dinner.  I took a 1.5 mile walk Saturday morning, and again after dinner tonight, hills and all, to try to make up for missing the gym time.

So, while my overall health grade is a C+, I'll take it!

The Dumb is Taking Over

I have witnessed so much STUPID over the past several days, I don't even know where to begin.  PMS makes it more frustrating, and some of it would be amusing if it just wasn't so damn DUMB.

Here's some examples.

I love the show The Blacklist.  I belong to several fan pages on Facebook.  Tonight, some silly ass starts spouting a bunch of religious stuff about sinners, and Jesus, etc., on a thread on one of the fan pages.  Just out of the blue, and it had absolutely nothing to do with the thread she was posting on.  Someone called her on it, then it just went downhill from there.  No one had a problem with this individual's beliefs, they just didn't belong on the thread - there were even a few comments asking the person if perhaps she was posting on the wrong thread or page.  The one that called her on it went to her profile and found LOTS of photos of scantily clad women, and other stuff that you'd think a "good religious person" would not be posting on their page.  It was just really aggravating to get bombarded with all the ignorant comments that were made by this individual who started out sounding like a super-religious person, and ended up sounding like a true troublemaker.

Sunday, I was in Wal-Mart with Clydie.  We were walking by the cheese aisle, selecting some cheese and talking.  This little old lady comes right up behind me, so close I could feel her breath on my back, and for every step I took to try to move out of her way, she was taking 3 to keep up with me!  She finally said "excuse me" and I hurried up to get out of her way.  Clydie and I continued walking through the store, and I was walking between her and the endcaps.  Suddenly I notice that I have someone following VERY closely behind me with their shopping cart. I glance behind me and it's the damn woman from the cheese section!  I told Clydie I had to hurry up and get on her other side, that I was about to cuss a bitch out, and that damn woman better hope she doesn't run that buggy up on my heels before I can get out of her way.  Thankfully, I escaped being assaulted by a shopping cart and avoided having to cuss someone out.

I have to work really, really hard to not comment on some of the posts that I see on Facebook and the news.  Many times I don't bother commenting at all, as I just don't want to get sucked into an internet argument about things.  That, and I have friends on both sides of the fence on a lot of topics, from gun ownership/control, vaccinations, politics, etc., and it's just not worth hurting anyone's feelings or pissing them off, especially if I find their comments especially ignorant.  I have great respect for several people with whom I don't agree, and I just leave things alone.  :-)

I'm sure there was a lot more "dumb" out there, but that's all I can think of at the moment.

Be smart y'all!

For me to keep in mind........

I really need to remember this.  I have a hard time letting go, ignoring what I perceive to be my flaws, when he doesn't see them, or sees them as part of what makes me the beautiful woman that he fell in love with.

I just don't understand how all the flaws I perceive either don't exist to him, or he somehow doesn't see them or is able to look past them.  I guess the same way I don't see his flaws, and am able to look beyond the flaws and see the person and all the beauty I see in him.

I just feel overwhelmed at times with my flaws, real or in my head. I am so thankful for Brian - he can't fix what is broken in me, but he does a pretty damn good job of holding the pieces together while I work on fixing what only I can fix.

Another Post of Random

OMG why did I have to eat that Little Debbie Star Crunch?  Last time I had one, I didn't care for it.  I wanted something sweet tonight, and that was all I had to choose from.  And OMG it was SOOOOOOoooo good!

Just an FYI - Little Debbie Cocoa Creams are actually better than Hostess Ding Dongs (and less expensive!)

I cannot believe that it's already January 22!  Where has this month gone?  Time is just going by too quickly!

I started back to the gym last week.  It's been about a year and a half since I worked out in a gym, so I'm taking it nice and easy to start with.  I've just been walking on the treadmill so far, started out at 1.25 miles and I'm up to 2.25 miles now.  I'm going to keep increasing the distance til I get to maybe 4-5 miles a day.  This gym thing is not really about losing weight, although yes, that's part of it.  I've just gotten so out of shape that it totally wipes me out when I walk up the 2 flights of stairs in the parking garage.  I mean, I'm really winded - BAD.  So I'm doing this to get in better shape, and hell yeah, I'll take any weight loss that goes with it.

And of course, with the increased physical activity, comes the aches and pains that go along with unused muscles being used, and a bum ankle being stressed and tested.  Plus I have this new foot pain (not new because of the working out, but new in the last couple of months).  This pain will at times almost bring tears to my eyes.  I feel like a good, firm foot massage would help, and I've tried that.  I really wish that I just wouldn't have that pain at all.  It makes wearing heels at work a little difficult.  So glad I bought those Clarkes back in November - they look kinda like Crocs, and they are so damn comfortable!

I have been falling over sleepy since 8pm tonight.  I'm like this frequently, so tonight really isn't any different than the norm.  I don't know what the problem is - I go to bed around 11pm or so every night, and I get up around 5:30am on weekdays.  I guess 6.5 hours of sleep a night isn't enough for me?  That's probably why I nap on the couch after dinner on a regular basis.

Gabriel is so loving - he's a real cuddler.  Dominion is getting to be more of a cuddler, but he's a grouchy old man and doesn't like a lot of it.  They are still very jealous of each other.

I got a Fitbit 2 weeks ago (I think I mentioned this before).  I've managed to hit 10k steps every day this week, and I have about 688 steps left to make 10k tonight.  I'll probably get up and walk in place for a few minutes to hit that goal.  And then go lay down.  LOL

Well I just realized that I don't have anything to wear to the gym tomorrow afternoon, so I guess I should start a load of laundry before I fall asleep.  Maybe I'll wake up long enough to put it in the dryer when it's done in the washer.  And maybe not.  I will find something to wear to the gym, one way or another.  I'm not going to let things get in the way of me going to the gym this time.  And I'm not going to quit my walking routine.

Y'all have a great Friday tomorrow, and a fabulous weekend!

My First Post of Random Goodness for 2015

There's so much going on, and I'm sure that I'll forget something, but here goes, with awesome randomness, and in no particular order:

*Gabriel really does not like it when Brian and Steven are horse-playing and rough-housing.  He comes and gets on the loveseat next to me, cowering me, trying to crawl into my lap.  Pitiful.  Seriously.

*Dominion has become extra clingy to Brian lately, and a little more ornery than usual.  I figure he's hit the "old man" stage, and ornery comes with the territory - he turned 8 in December.

*The other night at dinner, we were having whole kernel corn as one of our veggies.  Any of you seen South Park, with Mr. Hanky and his kids?  I hear Brian say "hidey-hoe" and look at him, and he has a damn piece of corn sitting on top of his head like Mr. Hanky's son!  I almost choked on my food!

*Meme and Buddy were able to come out for Christmas dinner at our house, and it was great.  I posted some photos on Facebook of our day, and it was just so awesome to have them here, especially Meme.  After all she went through in 2014 and the thoughts we were all having in the summer that "this is it", to see her recovery and that she was able to travel here for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, I'm just tickled pink.  Of course, her recovery isn't perfect, she is unsteady on her feet and refuses to use the walker, and she's mean as hell sometimes with paranoia and dementia (which I think go hand in hand at times?), but she's Meme and we still have her for now. 

*Have any of you ever had something touch you that wasn't there?  I had an experience like that the last night at hunt camp in December.  I was dreaming that Brian had come over and kissed or touched my chin, and it was so real I woke up very startled because I was certain he was standing over me and had actually done it, but he wasn't there!  It freaked me out so bad I had to get up and check on him.  He was fine, but OMG, I was terrified for a bit after that.

*I am so thrilled that I got my military ball ensemble together for cheap!  I have a black sleeveless sheath dress that I've had for a while, and while we were out browsing last weekend I found a beautiful lace & sequins jacket/top to wear over it, plus a necklace and pair of earrings, all for under $45.  I already have shoes and a clutch that will match, and a bracelet I got for my birthday last year that will look beautiful with it.  I didn't want to wear black, but I just didn't feel like going out dress shopping this year, and am thankful I had something in my wardrobe that could be recycled and worn.

*I have been assimilated - I got a Fitbit at work on Friday.  For those of you who don't know what a Fitbit it - it's a gadget you wear on your wrist that counts your steps, monitors your sleep patterns, and will also pick up on when you have strenuous activity.  You can log your exercise on your handy dandy smart phone application, and I'm sure there's other stuff you can log and do with it that I haven't learned about yet.  We have this big fitness push and competitions and stuff, and I'm just not a competitive person.  Maybe this will help me do more fitness related things - I got 1 minute of strenuous activity Friday when I climbed 2 flights of steps to get to my car!  And I got like 4 minutes of strenuous activity yesterday when we were out and about, but I'm not sure what that had to do with because there was no stair climbing, running, or anything I'd consider strenuous.  Oh well - we're supposed to log 3 - 30 minute sessions of strenuous activity per week, 10,000 steps per day, etc., on this thing.  I just need to figure the damn thing out a little more.

*Last weekend was a tough weekend for me.  Not sure why, but I was emotional a good bit of the time.  My guess would be my hormones, as it was prime PMS time.  I really hate that my hormones can do so much to control my life and my emotions like that.  I just wanted to spend the entire weekend in bed, moping around, and I just don't want to let myself be like that.  I honestly don't remember a lot of last weekend, other than finding the accessories for my military ball get-up, but I don't think I spent the entire weekend in bed, or any of it, other than night time. 

*Today I get to clean out the aquarium that used to house my baby angelfish.  Unfortunately, I have lost every last one of them to a fungus or some other infection that I just couldn't get a handle on.  I went from have 150+ babies born in July 2013, down to 7 that seemed like they'd make it, and slowly lost one here and there until the last one passed last week.  I was hoping he was hiding in the dense live plants in the tank, but alas, he surfaced, dead.  I lost the Daddy angel last year, and Blondie had already taken over as the dominant male anyway, and while Blondie and Mommie Angel have mated and laid eggs numerous times, no babies have hatched from their pairing.  It's probably a good thing.  I'd love to reseal my big tank and move it upstairs, to move Blondie and Mommie Angel into, along with some other fish.  I really enjoy having an aquarium, and I'd love to have the big one back up and running again.

*Yesterday I learned how to knit with a crochet hook, thanks to the Knook.  Well, I'm still learning, but I think it will be a fun hobby to have.  Today I'm going to start again, and maybe I'll remember how to do what I was doing yesterday, and be able to get a scarf project started.  I picked a color called Dark Raspberry, and hopefully the scarf will turn out nice.  There will be photos shared, one way or another, once I get the project going, or at the very least when I'm done with it.

So folks, this has been my life in a nutshell lately - busy, emotional, and busy, with a huge slab of lazy thrown in there in lots of places.  I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas season, and a Happy New Year!

More Things to Know.....

So it's got "resolutions" in the title of the photo.  Whatever you want to call it, it doesn't really matter.  These are 10 things we should all remember to do in our lives, on a daily basis.

Hardly a day goes by where I don't laugh at least once.  There was a time in my life when I didn't laugh much, but thanks to my husband and my son, there is a lot of laughter in the house.  There are still days where I don't feel much like laughing, but Brian will not let me go to bed without trying to make me laugh.

I'm guilty of overthinking things - a LOT.  I'm always trying to read between the lines, whether there's anything there or not.  Many, many times, I over-analyze every look, every comment, every moment of silence, to mean something bad or hurtful or underhanded.  It's a lot worse when I'm hormonal, but even when I'm not, it's bad.

I do relax a lot.  Sometimes too much.  I've been sleeping a lot for the past several months - I usually pass out on the couch by 8pm every night, or at the very least, I doze off here and there until it's time to shower and go to bed.

I'm doing a better job of letting myself off the hook about things.  Especially if it's not something super important to worry about.  I used to worry a lot about things that were out of my control, but now I'm like "fuck it, it's out of my control and there's nothing I can do about it". 

True worth - that's something I think I will probably struggle with for the rest of my life.  I rarely feel like I'm good enough, whether it's at work, at home, with my family, everything.  (don't lecture me anyone please, it's a struggle I have to deal with, and don't want to discuss - I do good just admitting it's an issue for me).

I take risks occasionally, and when I do, it's usually worth it.  I took a risk a few months ago and it has truly been a blessing for me, in many ways.  I don't want to discuss it publicly, but please feel free to message me if you want to know.

I don't want to take my dreams seriously, if you're talking about the ones that I have while asleep.  I tend to have a type of prophetic dream, or at least that's what I call it, where I don't necessarily dream something and it happens, but if I dream about a person, whether the dream is good or bad, something unpleasant or unfortunate has happened to that person or someone close to them.  I used to have dreams like this about my mom's 2nd husband's family, and it got to the point that I would practically be in hysterics when I woke up from one of those dreams, as I knew it meant there'd been a tragedy in that family somewhere recently.  I dreamed about Meme the other night, and when I got up the next day I got a text message to call my uncle, and sure enough, something had happened that wasn't good.

But as far as my aspirations and hopes for the future, I have taken them, and do take them, seriously.  There's one big dream, hope, and aspiration that I have, that I want very badly, and I'm hoping it will happen this year.  If you don't know what I'm referring to, you don't know me very well and haven't ever read my blog. :-)

Be kind to myself.  Really?  Sometimes that's a hard one.  Not going there tonight.  You all know it's a struggle for me.

I will always keep my sense of humor, no matter what.  I try my best to find the funny in even the worst of situations.  Laughter is healthy, and it helps me cope with difficult situations.

Lastly - I appreciate everything that I have.  All of it.  The good, the bad, the who cares stuff.  I have worked hard in my life for the things that I have.  Sure, some things have been given to me over the years, but I worked hard to buy our home, our vehicles, and other nice things that we have.  I've always worked to better myself - when I was in high school, I took it upon myself to go out and get a job my senior year in high school.  I wanted to be able to buy my own clothes and stuff and not have to depend on my mother for everything.  I worked full time while going to college full time, from the 2nd semester until I graduated.  I put in for every promotion I could get when I worked retail, and I always got it because I worked hard at what I did.  Every job I left, I got a better one to follow.  I never sat on my ass and expected (or even wanted) anyone to take care of me, or to give me things. 

I'm not rich, not by any means, at least when you're speaking financially.  I'm far beyond rich when it comes to the relationships and love that I have in my life.