Friday, July 15, 2011


No one can change a person, but someone can be a person's reason to change.

That statement is so true.  No matter how badly you want someone to change their ways, you can't force them to change.  They have to want to change.  And sometimes you become their reason for changing.

When I first saw this phrase, I immediately thought of "players".  An individual that is dating a player cannot make the player stop playing the game, the player has to find the person that is worth quitting the game for.  Many times the player isn't looking for that person, and they may adamantly deny that they are looking, but they stumble upon them totally by accident.

I've seen too many people in my life try to change a player, and try to be "the one" to make the player settle down.  All too often those situations end in heartbreak for the person who thought they could bring about change in the player's life.  I've seen people do crazy things to try to make a player change, to try to force them to settle down, and it just doesn't work.  Even if the player gives the relationship an honest attempt, if it's with the wrong person, it won't last unless the player is willing to live a miserable life to make someone else happy.  I don't see that as being fair to the player, and truthfully it isn't fair to the person that is trying to make the player change.

I've been on both sides of the fence for this.  I don't know that I'd actually have been classified as a player, but there were men that wanted to settle down with me through different periods of my life, and I just wasn't ready to settle down, at least not with them.  Most of them were good men, but they just didn't have what I needed, to see that I needed to change.   And I've dated players before, even wanted one of them to change his ways, but I knew I'd never get him to, always heard him say he wasn't interested in or looking for a serious or long-term relationship.  Or was he......

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