Tuesday, February 8, 2011

God gives you situations, you choose whether they make you "bitter" or "better"

God gives you situations, you choose whether they make you "bitter" or "better".

Ain't that the truth! The way you look at situations, how you interpret them, determines whether they make you a bitter person or a better person. There's been so many bad things in my life that had I chosen to be a negative person, I would be an extremely bitter, angry person right now. Fortunately, I am NOT normally a negative, mean person, so I tend to try to find the positive in all situations and learn from them.

My first marriage, for example, was a disaster. I'm not going to rehash all the drama and negativity from that relationship, but suffice it to say that had I chosen to allow that to make me a bitter person, I wouldn't have been able to open my heart to love again. I chose to learn from the mistakes I made with that relationship and person, and have certainly grown to be a better person for it.

As bad as things may get at times, I do try to find the positives in everything, or to at the very least learn something from the situation. One thing I've learned recently is that no matter how nice you are to some people, it's just never enough. Some people will just never be happy with anything, or accept the facts, and it's really a shame.

If I was childish and immature, I would engage in reciprocal name-calling and put downs. But I'm not going to stoop to that level, I've learned from previous lapses in judgement that it just doesn't do any good. Maybe one day this person will realize that I am not someone to piss off or have you on their shit list, that I can be quite the advocate and supporter when I know it's needed and appreciated. But that goes hand in hand with the title of this blog - choosing to let a situation make you bitter, or better.

This person has chosen to allow a certain situation to make them an extremely bitter person. The relationship they thought they had with someone failed, and it failed for many reasons, to include but not limited to the following:

*lack of trust in each other
*extreme, unreasonable jealousy
*extreme immaturity
*major differences of opinion regarding family values, work ethics, and financial responsibilities
*inability to effectively communicate

If this person had really, truly wanted the relationship to work, and to work well, they wouldn't have bullied their way into his home, demanding to move in together. They wouldn't have run home after shacking up for a mere 19 days because he was unhappy, they would have stayed and talked about it like a mature adult before leaving. Of course, they would have gotten divorced first, too, before they left their husband to go shack up with someone else. And they would have made sure that the person they were going to shack up with wasn't already involved with someone else that he wanted to continue seeing behind their back. They would have also known that once they left, he was done.

This person would have also known that harassing someone they claim to love is not the way to win them, or win them back. Calling them over and over and over again, never leaving a voice message or leaving nasty hateful ones, and sending dozens of text messages a day, is not the way to win someone over. It is harassment, plain and simple. (I know, I consulted my attorney when my ex-husband used to call me repeatedly and I could have had harassment charges filed against him). It's a very fast way to find yourself ignored, in my book.

Well, I could go on and on about what this person should have known, and should have done, but it's neither here nor there, and it's way beyond too late to salvage that relationship as anything more than a possible friendship. They have to learn things the hard way, and they apparently still have a lot of learning to do.

That previous section is not intended to sound like it's full of put downs, as you negative nay-sayers may think, it's full of facts. Facts that certain people don't want to face. But facts, nonetheless.

If you wish to comment, please feel free to do so. You do have the ability to leave anonymous comments, but be forewarned - if you, Nosey Nancy, whomever you are, leave a nasty comment on this or any other blog or place, I will call you out on it. ALL OF YOU. By names. First and last. I know you are one of a small number of people, and I will just name you all.

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