Saturday, February 26, 2011

I Wish You happiness

I knew some day you would leave again
To try and find your special place.
When you told me, it took me by surprise.
I am lonely and miss your smiling face.

You left me once before many years ago.
It was hard enough then to say goodbye.
This time seems even harder somehow
Though I have tried so hard not to cry.

During the years since you came back
We have become closer than ever before.
I miss the little things you did to spoil me.
I listen for your key turning in the front door.

I want nothing more than for you to be happy
To fall in love with that special someone
To hold and to cherish throughout life
Until your earthly days are done.

Nothing matters more in this life
Than the love you feel in your heart.
You will always be in mine
No matter how long we may be apart.

I pray for the Lord to watch over you
In every thing that you may do.
I wish you most a life of happiness
With memories to cherish as I have of you.

by Carol Barton

I didn't write the poem above.  I wish I had found it a few years ago.  It fit my situation so well at the time.  I just couldn't acknowledge it for a while, because I was still somewhat immature when it came to the particular situation and person, and was still hurting.

I had a failed relationship, which failed for many reasons.  It was one that had resurfaced from my past, from long, long ago, and no, the third time wasn't the charm.  At the time it failed, I didn't want him to be happy.  I didn't really want him to be miserable, either, but I didn't want him to be happy unless it was with me.  I was convinced that I was the only person that could make him happy, but I now know that I was so wrong about that.

I do still keep in touch with him, and his wife, and I know that they are both very happy together.  He wouldn't have been happy with me, I know that now.  It took a while for me to realize it, even after I stopped wanting to be with him.  I still wasn't convinced that she would make him happy.  But I see how well they fit together, how well she understands his needs, and I know without a doubt that he is with the right person.

I know it's hard sometimes to wish happiness to someone, and to be happy for them when you know they've found someone they are happy with, when they were the one you wanted to be with.  It hurts sometimes to do it, but if you really loved that person, then you put your feelings aside and are happy for them.

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