Monday, February 14, 2011

Weighing heavy on my mind and heart.....

I know I've talked about her many times before, and bitched about her and how she gets on my nerves, but honestly I love my grandmother, Meme, very much.  Mom and I lived with her and my grandfather as far back as I remember (starting when my parents divorced when I was about 1 year old), and after my grandfather died, the 3 of us lived together until she found Bob and moved to Warner Robbins.

Meme has always been there for me, done things for me and with me, and helped me out whenever she can.  Going hand in hand with helping me out, comes the great aggravation as a cost of letting her help me out.  For example - we are living in her double-wide mobile home.  She decided she wanted to move into the basement apartment of her son's home, so that she would be closer to one of her children and he could help her if needed.  Let's face it - she'll be 87 this year and it's not a bad idea for someone of that age to live with younger people so that there's someone around to watch out for them, especially with the health conditions that Meme has.

But living here has its costs - she expects "her" home to be kept spotless, which is darn near impossible with a teenager in the home.  Not to mention that I'm not the neatest person around, either.  She also wants to continue to store a bunch of crap over here that she just doesn't need.  I have boxes stacked up in the corner in my laundry room, boxes filling up about a third of the shed, and clothes hanging up and in big plastic tubs in the spare bedroom closet.

Now, to what's weighing on me.  Mom and I frequently discuss Meme and her state of mind, or lack thereof.  Meme is the youngest child, and the last of the siblings.  All the rest lived to be at least 90 (I think), and all had some form/state of Alzheimer's or dementia during the last few years of their lives.  We've been watching Meme, and noting different behaviors and things, and it's really becoming apparent that it is starting to affect her, too.  She spent a good bit of time talking to her daughter-in-law today, freaking out about her family pictures being "stolen", and worrying that her children think she's "losing it".  Turns out those pictures - she GAVE them to her children around Christmas time.

I was told around the time that I moved into the house here that she would frequently "give" or "lend" things to people, then forget she gave them away or lent them out, and accuse the person of stealing the item(s).  Meme gave me some jewelry around Christmas time that she wanted me to have, and she showed me some other jewelry she wants to give me as well, but just not yet.  I'm almost afraid to accept it, that she will accuse me of stealing it from her.  Yes, I would love to have it, some of it I would be proud to wear, but not at the risk of being accused of stealing it from her.

Any of you that pray, please pray for my grandmother, and for all of us that interact with her.  We need patience and understanding, as she does.  This is not going to be easy.

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