Thursday, June 9, 2011

Thank God tomorrow is Friday!!!!

It doesn't even feel like tomorrow is Friday, it for some reason feels like there are a few more work days left in the week.  But I am very thankful that tomorrow is Friday - I need the weekend!  I am tired, moody, have swollen feet due to a spike in blood pressure yesterday, and my back and hips are aching.  Yes, it's a bitchy day!

I had a very stressful situation that I had to deal with yesterday, and while I won't share who it was with (other than to say it wasn't anything to do with Brian, Steven, Mom, Marion, or any of the other usual "suspects" lol), I will say that it just really stressed me out.  I got extremely upset at work, which I don't usually do, as I always try to maintain a professional front regardless of my emotional state.  I vented to Shirley about what was going on and she has never in the 3 years we've been working together seen me as upset and emotional as I was yesterday over anything.  Not my mom leaving, my anger and issues with my exhusband, my grandmother, having to put Mom's dog to sleep - ANYTHING.    It was just so out of character for me.

I will also say this about the situation - I got sucked into someone else's drama and issues, and I let it get to me.  That's my fault.  This situation had been building, and I'm bad about letting things fester and explode, and that's pretty much what happened, except that I imploded instead of exploded.  Again, that's my fault for not speaking up and saying something before it got to the point that I was emotionally out of control.    It made my blood pressure shoot up (I didn't have it checked, but I could tell - headache and the swollen feet), and apparently it's still up, as my feet are still swollen.

I hate that I avoid conflict like the plague.  It's not that it scares me, I just  prefer not to have it.  My life has been so peaceful and relatively stress free for the past year or so, other than normal happenings in life, and the online stalking and harassment bullshit I've had to deal with.  Fortunately the harassment has stopped (and yes I realize that I probably jinxed myself by saying that) - it's been January since any nastiness has been posted online about me or anything to do with the usual crap that's posted, but the stalking continues.  The stalking doesn't bother me so much, although I just think it's funny at this point.  Sad, too, for the person or people who are stalking me, that they don't have anything better to do than ogle my profiles to try to find out more info on me or whatever they do it for.  And sad, too, that they stalk me at all hours of the day and night.

I realized Tuesday that Sunday was the 2 year "anniversary" of the last time I talked to my ex-husband.  I'm amazed that it's been that long.  Sure doesn't bother me that he's not in my life anymore.  That's part of the reason that life has been so peaceful for me, not having to deal with his drama and bullshit.

My hips and lower back are aching.  It got pretty bad the other night.  Not so much tonight, just enough to be annoying.  Not sure what is causing this - feels like PMS but I shouldn't get getting those symptoms just yet.  Probably stress from yesterday's situation, and from Mom leaving this past Sunday.

Okay folks, time to shower and hit the rack for tonight.  I hope you all have a fantastic Friday - I know I plan on trying my best to have one!

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